I got this today, and I thought it was funny:
A PAID POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT
BY SENATOR BARACK OBAMA (D-IL)
My fellow Americans,
As your future president I want to thank voters of all political
stripes for their mindless support, despite my complete lack of any
legislative achievement, my pastor's ties with Louis Farrakhan and
Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, and my blatantly liberal voting record
while I present myself as some sort of bipartisan agent of change.
I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal
behaviour somehow qualifies me for the presidency after 8 years of
claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is
a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political chicanery.
I would also like to thank the Kennedys for coming out in support of
me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK
started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped
Martin Luther King Jr., they both slept with Marilyn, and Teddy's
negligence caused the death of a young girl. I'm not going anywhere
near the Kennedy cousins, especially Michael Skakel.
And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of
meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the
White House.
Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or
achievement, but because I make people feel good. White people who
vote for me get some relief from their racist guilt.
I say things that sound meaningful but don't really mean anything
because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have
meaning, then that means you have to think.
Americans are tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain and
open up the heart.
So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don't think, just
do. And do it for me.
Thanking you in advance.
Barack =
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