Movie Review (Dukes of Hazzard)

I didn't catch this when it came out two years ago, but HBO in hotels is always a good way to catch up on what I missed. Everyone know Bo, Luke, Daisy, Uncle Jesse and Cooter. Not to mention Boss Hogg, Roscoe, Enos and Cletus.

Throughout this movie I was continually stunned at the lack of character displayed by all the players. The original actors are definitely what made the show great. For example Jessica Simpson is a cute kid but her southern accent was the worst thing I ever heard and her scenes were completely gratuitous crap. She also isn't near as hot as Catherine Back was back then. Sean William Scott (Bo) and Johnny Knoxville (Luke) just didn't cut it. I like these guys in some of their other roles but they just aren't right for these parts. Perhaps the worst selection was Willie Nelson (Liberal Lunatic) playing Uncle Jesse. No one who rights the song Cowboys Are Secretly, Frequently (Fond Of Each Other) should play Uncle Jesse. Additionally the goofy Roscoe was replaced with a more menacing character. I did think Burt Reynolds almost fit as JD Hogg which was surprising considering the lack of an physical similarities with the original actor. Overall the movie is horribly done with very odd "cut-outs" in a lot of the scenes. There are several scenes where some background character is suddenly thrust to the front of the scene and it does not make sense, to me anyway. The worst part was the revealing of the General Lee, very anti-climatic and you don't get a good look at the car, you get great close-ups of three main actors instead.

As I told the VelvetMantis; If someone asks you to watch this movie, shoot them and if you walk into a room where it is playing shoot yourself to avoid the pain. This is the dumbest movie ever and someone needs to do a re-make that actually honors the show.

Captain Dude's Travels

Video Game Violence (Cho Seung-Hui)

On Hardball yesterday I saw some moron saying that Virginia Tech jackass Cho Seung-Hui was "trained" from watching and playing violent video games. Let's clear this up, being able to push your up arrow and hit "r" on your keyboard is not remotely similar to actually running and ejecting a magazine with an elevated heart rate. Neither is clicking your right mouse button and hearing a bang in your headphones at all like actually pulling the trigger, smelling the powder and adjusting to the recoil for your next shot. The same muscles aren't even involved.

Fortunately for me he called out the game Counter-Strike. I used to play, sometimes still do, this very game. I have yet to want to actually kill someone and I don't really believe the game promotes this. Pictured above is about as bloody as it gets. That "terrorist", in the foreground, is in the middle of wiping out the "counter-terrorist" in the background. Is it a wholesome game, no. Does it breed killers, also no. I have run across, from time to time, very very young people playing these games and they seem unsuited for interaction with the older players. This is mainly when you hear voice communications, or are typing to each other in the game. This is mainly out of maturity and not the ability to accept some very mild looking violence that restarts every five minutes at the end of a round.

The bottom line is to know what your kids are doing and how it affects that individual. Cho Seung-Hui had several issues which not enough people knew about because of some ridiculous "rights to privacy" and political correctness that run rampant in our country. Also, if someone ever stalks you PRESS CHARGES so that there is a police record.

Good News

After spending countless hours over the past week or two trying to find a person to repair my guitar someone has accepted the challenge. I got estimates up to $1400 and 6 mos to a year of repair time. The worst thing was that most of the people I asked would not listen to my requests to leave the guitar "ugly" and just fix the structural problems. All I kept hearing from these guys was "total restoration", and "complete project" etc.. I finally took her to Broadway sound where Clayton said he would fix her up in 2-3 months for $500. I can't wait to see how she turns out. He is fixing a loose bracing, the lower bout side split, the top cracks, replacing the bridge, the hole drilled in the upper bout, installing six tuners, and putting a lacquer coat on the back , sides and headstock.

The Worst Broadcast Journalist (currently)

Pictured above, mouth always open, is Keith Olbermann. Mr. Olbermann used to be one of the wittiest and funniest men in sportscasting when he used to host "The Big Show" with Dan Patrick. After he flipped out and left ESPN he became a regular newscaster and, up until last night, I have been able to tolerate his wildly leftist rants since I believe in free speech and equal opportunity. I don't mind that he is harshly negative about all things conservative even though he rarely backs his opinion with facts. His show is pure opinion and, I assume, gets good enough ratings to keep him on the air.

Last night he made comments about the Virginia Tech shootings that were just ridiculous. He called out the University President and Police Force as if they weren't doing their very best to understand the terrible tragedy that happened yesterday. I will not say they handled the situation perfectly, but who could. If they had "closed" the campus the shooter would, most likely, have found victims at a different location. There was no way to prevent what happened yesterday, this is a time to grieve and reflect. This is not a time to be a total jerk and point your finger at someone while acting as if you could have done it better. I especially hate that when you don't offer any constructive ideas with your criticism.

Mr. Olbermann is "The worst person in the world" to use one of his catchphrases.

Gun Control Debate

I think the argument for more or less gun control that is popping up as a result of the Virginia Tech shootings can be answered pretty simply.

If the gun was purchased legally, then more laws might help.

If the gun was not purchased illegally, then more laws probably won't help.

Which was it?

Ridiculous

The Knoxville News-Sentinal published their annual summer camps insert this past Sunday. Reading through it I dealt the sad realization of where our society is headed. In addition to most of the "camps" being day care so that parents don't have to raise their own kids, I saw Wizard Camp. At Wizard camp you will learn levitation among other things. Yes, Harry Potter stuff is real don't ya know!

P.S. I do realize that in some families both parents absolutely have to work. A lot of times it reminds of people who get a dog to leave it in the yard all the time though.

Movie Review (Shooter)

Shooter is the oh-so-typical ex-military expert recall/conspiracy theory story with some new faces thrown in the mix. I expected this to suck mightily and only went because it was the matinée in West Virginia last week. The story is actually pretty decent and I never actually wanted to leave. The kid who plays F.B.I. agent Nick Memphis was great and had some pretty decent zingers which he delivers in a fantastic deadpan. Marky Mark is still just pretty, cannot act, and belongs in underwear ads. He did pull the role off ok except for the fact that he has not one ounce of Marine in him and is not at all believable as a Gunny. It's easy to look past that and just watch the action though, which is decent. There are a few little details bloopers that I will allow to be overlooked since their military adviser obviously sucked. I did want to point out one issue that cracked me up. In the pictured scene there is a great shootout on a farm in Chantilly Virginia. They cut from that scene to the next and it says they are Bozeman Montana. During the phone conversation you learn that only one day has passed.

These two locations are 2,117 miles apart.

If you like military crap, and action go see it. If you are a Marky Mark fan, that's too bad.

The Don Imus coup

I feel the need to weigh in on the recent events surrounding Don Imus. Before I start, let me say that I am not a fan of his nor have I ever been. I do feel the need to defend the guy a little though.

What he said was, at worst, just a little rude. He has been far more offensive in the past and to be fired for something that is barely even insensitive seems crazy. I realize that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are leading the lynch mob; this should automatically red flag the whole thing as ridiculous. To put this in perspective and try to achieve true equality in our society let's ask the questions that need to be asked.

Would the punishment be the same for a black man/woman?

Have those very words been uttered by those women in their locker room?

Why is there a double standard for people based on skin color?

Why do we not fire every black or Hispanic man for using racially charged speech?

Nicely stated

I got this in a forward, and it was attributed to Jay Leno. Jay Leno quoted the last paragraph only, the rest was written by someone else.

Reference: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/jayleno.asp

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data
I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the
direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy
with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry
just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so
unhappy about?''

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the
summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these
unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery
store at any time and see more food in moments than

Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through
each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would
find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having
thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just
not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency
workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter
to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may
be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to
extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or
if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or
prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest
will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in
the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and
pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own
cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy
that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67
percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world
has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great
disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed
people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have ,
and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live
here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no
plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval
rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days
after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of
recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the
book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from
terrorist attacks?

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending
you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show?
Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a
look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually
caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was
failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.


Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have
volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom.
There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They
are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an
''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a
''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.


So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of
Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it
leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash
with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the
corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations.
They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions by
"justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a
murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his
wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the
TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird
cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is
exponentially more good than bad.


We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several
times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.


"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and
with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a
good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Rowdy Weather

Last night after an episode of House, the weather came on. Matt Hinkin said there was some nasty weather headed our way and it was moving at almost 40 miles per hour. People to the North of us were reporting 3-inch hail and 70 MPH winds. I thought about this for a moment and realized my new truck was outside, alone, in the path of the bitter weather. I ran to the garage where I came across the actual problem.

Think back to the Home Improvement Nightmare series from the Captain. You will recall that one of the things offered by the store was to keep the leftover material from the job. Part of that material was 48 boxes of beautiful ceramic tile. That tile was sitting where I needed to park my truck. Each box of that tile weighs 38.1 pounds. I'll give you a second for that.....

1828.8 lbs.

I moved it in fifteen minutes from one corner to the other. The worst part about moving it is you have to remove it from the pallet, move the pallet, and re-stack on the pallet. I moved every box 2 times....

3657.6 lbs

I believe, I will skip my workout on the Bowflex tonight.

On a side note, as soon as I closed the garage door after snuggling my truck up against the Pilot, the storm hit our area.

Good car dealers in Knoxville

As Many of you know, my car buying research has been both extensive and quite frustrating. Trying to be an informed consumer is sometimes more trouble than it's worth I think. With all that said let me recommend two places to complete a transaction.

First, I bought the 2003 Honda Pilot w 44k on it at Duncan Automotive and would definitely recommend stopping by to see Jason Taylor next time you are shopping. This place is zero pressure and very up front with everything. Once Jason has helped you find the right vehicle, Tony will take over and help get you out the door as painlessly as possible.

Duncan Automotive - more info »

10631 Parkside Dr, Knoxville, TN

(865) 693-2401 - close call

Second, I bought the 2002 Tundra w 65k on it from ETN pre-owned which I had previously avoided since I thought it was a "Clinton Highway" (buy here pay here) lot. They are a subsidiary of East Tennessee Nissan of Knoxville which is part of the Victory Automotive group. Dave Early can help you find what you need, and then Travis will help with the financing. Best of all if you tell them Captain Dude (use my real name please) sent you, I get $100 for every referral.

For the social experiment previously I was dealing with the Ted Russell dealerships around town. They did cal, and were very apologetic saying they would do anything at all to help me. When I gave them detailed information about what I was looking for they couldn't come up with a single vehicle. If you are a Ted Russell customer, I hope your experience was better. I promise you could have done better elsewhere.

The "other" ride

Since I was bragging about my new wheels I thought I would put the other one up. Yeah that's the new hood, great job by the folks at CARS Inc..

The Captain's New Ride

Yes boys and girls, that is a 2002 Toyota Tundra SR5 TRD. I have no idea what anything after Tundra means. yesterday was the last day of the month, I got a deal.

If anyone wants to buy a set of Mickey Thompson Tires and Rims hit me up, I am not into that and would rather have some Michelins.