Thursday, August 24, 2006

Losing Someone


Today the president of our company passed away. He had battled bladder cancer for several years and the fight is finally over. I count it a privilege to have known Mr. G. and count it a greater privilege to have seen him fight the good fight through his illness. Though painful for him and his family in spirit and in body he exemplified how a man should live his life.

Mr. G. counted it a blessing that God chose him to bear the burden of cancer. Truly stunning to hear from someone who suffers daily in pain. He wanted only for others to come to know Christ through the faith he displayed during his long painful battle. The grace and humility he showed the world could not have come from anywhere other than God. Grace and Mercy like that are not of this world and it's quite rare that we actually get to glimpse it in a man.

As a Christian I know that he has moved on to a better place, this does not lessen the pain of seeing a great mentor, husband and father leave us. These are the times where Christ calls us to lean on him.

Check out the song Homesick by Mercy Me, and we'll see you on the other side Mr. G..

Ensign Dude


That's my boy! He was very runty when he was born, but as you can plainly see he's packing on the pounds prepping for his career in the NFL. I also plan to nominate him for the "Cutest Dude" award shortly. God gives me beautiful babies, for that I am very grateful.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Having babies!


I got back from working out of town last week and noticed that Melba, my female Jack Dempsey, was hovering in only one area of the tank. A quick look inside shows about two hundred eggs on their nice flat stone. I am hopeful that several will survive, let me know if you need some fish! Please know that my Jack Dempseys are much better looking than the one pictured in the reference link above.
I also have six baby orandas at home which make an excellent outdoor fish if anyone needs a very simple "starter" fish. The fry came from one of the three different species I have in the pond, I have one each of Red-Cap Oranda, Calico Oranda, and a fancy Goldfish. So who knows what the kids will look like since I haven't picked the fish up and turned them over to see who is male and who is female.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Katrina Victims


In Sunday's paper I read this article that talks about how many promises have gone unfulfilled after Katrina. Reading the article it doesn't sound like promises weren't kept, it sounds like people aren't happy with the progress that has been made. I respect that argument but don't call it something it isn't. Before I go on, I don't want anyone to think that this was handled perfectly, but I do believe it was fairly decent considering there was no previous basis for response.

People are criticizing the 3 billion dollars that were thrown at the issue saying we could have saved money with competitive bids; I wonder if they realize that we might have saved 10% but had to wait at least a year while the bids were solicited and sorted. I also noted that the President offered two programs that were rejected. One of these programs would have given free jobs training, school, and child care to people. Another would have given free plots of land to folks. Instead they want $30 billion dollars. This was a tragedy for sure, but I feel like some of the victims are holding their hands out and waiting for the big cash to come their way. These people are irritated at the $9 billion dollars given them which translates to $150,000 per homeowner. Someone please try to convince me that there was either $9 billion worth of anything there before and/or that each of these homeowners had $150k in any type of assets prior to this disaster. I want these people to have decent shelter and the basic commodities of life, in short they should be restored to their previous position. This should not be an opportunity for victims to profit.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Movie Review (The Family Stone)


So my wife rented this one. The story is a son bringing his fiance' home to his family and I think it's supposed to be funny with some awkward humor. It's not.

What I didn't like:
I can't type that much. This is the worst movie ever. The family are a bunch of white trash stuck up snobs. They hate anyone who doesn't agree with them and their way of thinking, and they don't try to be accepting at all. They are hateful and rude and I am pretty sure they are supposed to be an example of a nice modern liberal family too. SUCKS!

What I did like:
ummm stellar cast, unfortunately abused.

The bottom line:
Stick a fork in your leg if you somehow get roped into seeing this, it will be less painful. Perfect definition of uber crap.

Movie Review (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)


This was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Let me start with the stuff I didn't care for and then proceed with the praises. The premise is that of a man who was "born" to race cars. Good build up, and you like his character as he becomes a great unstoppable Nascar driver. He wins and loses and wins again in typical hero style.

What I didn't like:
Gratuitous cussing is a waste of time, especially when you use children for shock value. None of the children's cussing lines made anyone in the theatre laugh, it was a bit sad. There was also needless cussing by the adults but that is quite typical in today's movies.

What I did like:
There are about three thousand riotous one liners that I will have to write down next time I see it. The family elements were pretty good and the characters meshed well. The story, thought predictable, was fantastic too.

The bottom line:
This is NOT a family movie and children should be kept away from it. Very funny for grown us though. I also don't buy into the whole anti-christian or anti-southerner talk I heard. The uses of those elements were quite funny and obviously satirical.

Will Ferrell does a great job, as does the entire cast, of delivering great over-the-top performances.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Airline Plot


First off GREAT JOB by Mi-5 and the British to gank these losers before they had a chance to do any damage, and thanks for keeping us in the loop during the process. Now on to the nuts and bolts. These guys were caught because their privacy was "violated" based on who they were (racial or religious profiling?). Guess what? I'm all for it! People who whine about our "illegal" phone tapping practices should learn to read what the law actually states. The calls must be originated from and/or destined to a known terrorist nation.

Now, if we could just figure out what the Iranian President is planning to do on August 22nd I would sleep a little better at night. He is bound and determined to bring "the end of the world" so that Islam can rise up and "be free." I am actually afraid of this man he is taking orders only from Allah.

John Edwards


This is too funny. Yesterday on Hardball, Mr. Edwards officially took himself out of contention for any future political office for anyone with ears. He told Chris Matthews that if "these people" (muslims) would just "get to know us" they wouldn't want to hurt us or commit suicde to hurt us. My goodness gracious Mr. Edwards they live amongst the people they are planning to kill for years at a time. They know us; they hate us in spite of, or perhaps because of, knowing us. I appreciate your idealism and wish what you were saying were true, but it just isn't.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Magni (Dolphins Cry)

I admit I watch some reality shows, especially select weeks of American Idol and most of Rockstar SuperNova. Last year on Rockstar INXS I loved most of the singers and thought that the band (INXS) was just ok. This year, it has been the reverse I feel the band has enormous potential and the singers have been dull.

That was until last night when Magni KILLED IT! Rocking the house on an acoustic guitar by yourself is no small task, way to go man!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

More Football (NFC Analysis)


Now for my brilliant insight on the NFC:
NFC East

Dallas Cowboys: With TO in camp you just have to hope he stays happy. This guy is talented for sure, but no one else on this team is. Terry Glenn (worst haircut in football) is past his prime and Drew Bledsoe is not good(see career stats for proof). I think Julius Jones is the best QB on their roster and he's playing halfback, well maybe Drew Henson. The only redeeming thing is Parcells and he is inconsistent at best with respect to winning. My bad, Jason Witten is a great TE this does not matter when your team is crap.

New York Giants: Looking good on paper are the New York Giants this year. Solid on both sides of the ball with a number of proven all-stars. Watch for Eli to get his act together, everything hinges on him. The defense can hold their own, but will not win games for them, and the two backup QBs will not get the job done if Eli goes down. I think he was thrown to the wolves a bit early last year and just wasn't ready for this level of competition. Probably sucks being Peyton's brother.

Philadelphia Eagles: This team actually, still, has all the tools to win it all ESPECIALLY with TO gone. McNabb is great and Garcia can also win games if anything goes wrong. The defense is also solid with perhaps the weak link or intangible being whether or not Kearse can play an entire season. After an amazing first three years he has been a bit fragile. If this team stays healthy watch out.

Washington Redskins: A storied history and a once great franchise, the Redskins should investigate the possibility of playing a season or two in the NCAA or possibly High School. Mark Brunell is quite fragile and only a shadow of the man from the past. They have some great people on defense that have never really emerged as stars but definitely could if the scheme was tailored to their abilities. My advice; throw Brunell the clipboard and let Jason Campbell play. I normally don't like rookies to be starters but he is the better option. I know some folks will talk the receivers up but I have never been sold on short receivers.

NFC North

Chicago Bears: Have some talent no doubt, but Rex Grossman will take no one very far. This has nothing to do with his fragility either, he is simply not big or athletic enough. They have Griese who can be a winner if he could ever get out of "I'm good because dad was" mode(primadonna). Three good running backs, and one fantastic receiver (Mushin) along with a good defense. None of that matters if Grossman is the guy though.

Detroit Lions: Should also investigate a season or two in the minors( see Redskins). A few talented guys sprinkled into positions that don't win games is a recipe for another losing season. I want to see Orlovsky play mainly because he is ginormous and can't be any worse than Kitna. The Jury is still out on McCown since he started his tenure with Arizona where they only allow one good player at a time to be on the team.

Green Bay Packers: Favre returns! Unfortunately that equals a losing season now. His competitiveness is to be admired but his ability is no longer the stuff of legend. With a good QB this team could rampage the NFL like the Packers should. I would try Aaron Rodgers and hope he has been learning from Favre the kid was great in college. Every other position on this team is tough and stacked.

Minnesota Vikings: Seems weird we won't see Culpepper out there in his giant purple uniform, wait who's that throwing the ball? Brad Johnson?!?! Doesn't he suck? No he does not if placed in the right scheme. Has good numbers sprinkled through his career, which started in Minnesota, and has a championship to his credit. The bad news: I don't know who anyone else on this team is. Koren Robinson sounds familiar, and Tank Williams but that's it. Good luck Vikes!

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons: With Finneran out already things don't look good. To be fair Vick can win a game by himself on the right day, but not everyday. I see D.J. Shockley as the number three QB, but look for that to change shortly. This team can only win when Vick is accurate and has some lateral movement to find throwing lanes. Box him in and he is terribly mediocre at best. If he can move even a little this team is always a threat. This team's success rides on the O-line.

Carolina Panthers: Good team solid on both sides with decent backups for almost every position. This is not news, why hasn't this team won a ring the last three years? Something is stopping the Panthers and it isn't lack of talent. John Fox's third year, let's see if it finally comes together for Carolina.

New Orleans Saints: Snatched Drew Brees thinking he would help but the running game is the battle to watch. Reggie Bush will be the man on this team. If Brees has time he can make plays, if he is hurried and flustered it's over. I see they snatched up the embattled Adrian McPherson too; this kid looked amazing before FSU pitched him on his ear for stealing. Keep an eye on that number three QB, the Saints might actually do some damage this year.

Tamp Bay Buccaneers: IF Chris Simms and Michael Clayton can get on the same page this team will be an absolute terror to their opponents. Good talent at almost every position offense and defense it all hinges on those two guys. Yes, there are other receivers but none are as explosive as Clayton can be( see 2004).

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals: Snagged Edge and Leinart. Seems this team may be violating their self imposed only one good player per year rule. Edgerrin's days of scaring people are over, but perhaps the mystique will work when combined with the legend of Kurt Warner. My hope is that Leinart gets to sit with the clipboard and learn all year until the Cards can grab a fresh dynamic young RB. If that happens Leinart is the prototypical NFL type and should be able to bring some success to the team for the future. This year they can do damage, but only based on the memories of Warner and James in their prime.

San Francisco 49ers: I love Trent Dilfer, but he isn't great and he's the number two. Alex Smith was a stud in college, but class is over son. Other than them I don't know anyone on this team, what happened to them? Wait, Larry Allen is there wasn't he in the 1974 Super Bowl?

Seattle Seahawks: Came close last year certainly the stars were aligned in their favor. Shaun Alexander is truly amazing, but I think we will learn that last year was some sort of fluke, I look for Hasselbeck to, once again, prefer the opponent's defenders to his own receivers. David Greene is on the roster at number three and will certainly pass Seneca for the number two shortly. He might be the spark that Seattle needs.

St Louis Rams: I see some talent (Stephen Jackson) mixed in with some guys that really need some relief (rest of offense). Good defense but the offense is suspect. I don't see Tory Holt and Isaac Bruce worrying too many defenders these days. Seattle managed to do it with only a running back, so you never can tell.

Monday, August 07, 2006

It's Football Season (AFC Analysis)


I will now begin my analysis of the upcoming football season one division at a time:
AFC East

Buffalo Bills :
The Bills are short on talent, and after a rough 2005 I don't see any end to their suffering. After scoring a total of 15 points last year they drafted mainly defensive players that's brilliant.

Miami Dolphins:
9-7 last year and definite contenders this year if everyone gets on the same page. Ronnie Brown is a stud, Daunte Culpepper is as well. Joey Harrington will finally get the chance to hang out a bit, but watch for him to learn from and push Culpepper. This is the opportunity Joey needed for his NFL career to not be a train wreck. David Carr is dreaming of something similar I am sure.


New England Patriots:
Always dangerous with Brady at the helm watch for this re-tooled team to get right back where they left off two years ago. The defense is back, and hopefully stays healthy, and they picked up Reche Caldwell who could make up for lost time on the offense. I don't know how this team wins but they should never be counted out.

New York Jets:
Pennington is "looking sharp" in camp. Well no crap, he is a great QB and no he isn't fragile. He has a mechanics problem that has not been addressed by his coaches. Pennington has what I call a wide profile when he releases the ball. The ball should be tight to your ear and he releases it about 14 - 18 inches away. When you do that you risk the defender hitting your hand and causing the very injury he sustained. All that said, they still don't have all the tools needed to back up Pennington, they desperately need a good runner to complete the package and some younger receivers.

AFC North
Baltimore Ravens:
Snatched Steve McNair and Mike Anderson in the offseason. This is Steve's last shot and he is not very durable now. Their defense is prime and they have three outstanding halfbacks. They could put it all together and make a run, but only if the QB and the 1 and 2 receivers stay healthy all year, which is doubtful.


Cincinnati Bengals:
They have everything they had last year, but displayed that they are nothing without their QB. Additionally, you never know how a player will come back from those nasty knee injuries. I think Palmer is a tough kid and they will do well as long as he is under center.

Cleveland Browns:
Not good, three QBs who have never really played and a linebacker as the best player on the team. This worked for Baltimore one year, but this defense is not that good. Look for the Browns to possibly try playing in the NCAA this year for a few wins.

Pittsburgh Steelers:
SuperBowl Champs! I am concerned about Big Ben's durability based on his style of play, he takes a beating. This guy may only be in the NFL 5 or 6 years if those lineman don't start protecting him. Willie Parker will also find the going more difficult without Bettis to spell him, Duce Staley is not capable of filling the bus's shoes in this capacity. I am looking for Verron Haynes to take over as number 2 though he is a bit undersized for the pounding. I would base their season on How Ben plays after his injuries/accident and how fast Santonio Holmes develops since Hines Ward cannot carry the receiving load forever ( See Rod Smith Denver).

AFC South

Houston Texans:
Good news: New Head Coach Bad News: Probably doesn't matter. Their GM picked Mario Williams at number one then quit his position to go work for another team one day later. Someone please throw the BS flag. Mario is a stud no doubt, but don't pick a defensive player for a team that can't score (see Buffalo). David Carr would be great if he were ever allowed to throw the ball, FYI it's very hard to throw when you fear for your life every play. Reggie Bush was there, and would have been a difference maker.

Indianapolis Colts:
The Edge is gone and this could be the undoing of a great offense. The receiving corps is still sound, but aging. The line is not getting younger and Peyton DOES NOT like to get hit. This team may have waited too long to try and develop Rhodes into a starter. He could have been a stud no doubt, it may have have killed his ambition watching Edgerrin for so many years. Their season will be based on the success, or lack of success, of Dominic Rhodes.

Jacksonville Jaguars:
this team has everything it needs to be successful, unfortunately some of the players are not utilized correctly. They have the biggest receiver in the NFL, and he is probably the third or fourth fastest man in the NFL, in Matt Jones. This guy is phenomenally athletic let him run and move Greg Jones to the starting HB. Those two things would ignite this team. Fred Taylor cannot be tackled more than twice per game, it's time to hang it up man. If the Jags let Leftwich and Jones hook up watch out. If they try to pound the ball with Fred Taylor, good luck selling your season tickets on eBay.

Tennessee Titans:
Vying for stupidest offseason moves (see Houston Texans) they let their Starting QB go. Is Billy Volek a stud as a backup, yes. Is Billy Volek a starter, NO. Vince Young is not ready, He must learn to stand taller and release the ball much higher than he did in college. LenDale White's success will be based on his fat factor, trim him down and he's good to go. WHEN Young and White get dialed in this team may be unstoppable, provided Young does not try to stiff arm NFL linebackers like he did with the college boys. Look for Young to take over the first poor Billy throws more than one pick in a game and let's hope that his support cast doesn't allow him to suffer like Harrington and Carr.

AFC West

Denver Broncos:
Jake took a lot of heat for the playoff loss, but only one of those picks was his fault. Look for him to step it up with Cutler on board. Jay cutler is a stud and has a great system and great mentor to learn from. Look for Ron Dayne to light it up with Tatum doing the same as they deliver the Bronco's famed insert any back here running game. The receiving corps is pretty suspect; if Lelie would be a man and compete they would be great, but Rod Smith cannot continue to carry the load ( see Hines Ward) and Javon Walker is unproven as the sole go to guy. Denver can win it all if the passing game is sound. Defense is great, as is the running game.

Kansas City Chiefs:
Wille Roaf quit or did he? If he is gone their season goes with him. He is the line for KC and Larry Johnson will learn that quickly without him. Trent Green and the receivers cannot be successful without LJ and I do not think he can do what he did last year without Willie. This team is "on the bubble" watch for their fate to follow their left tackle. On the plus side they picked up Brodie Croyle, I am a huge fan and hope he learns quickly since Trent Green seems to get the hook when it looks like the guy behind him has any skill.

Oakland Raiders:
Someone please check Mr. Davis's medication. The Raiders have officially signed every NFL has been and never will be. It might actually pan out if Brooks gets the protection he has never had and can hook up with Moss. Jerry Porter also has flashes of brilliance but I would have ditched one good receiver for a better running back. If they can't get the running game going look for Brooks to continue his struggles on this team ( not his fault).

San Diego Chargers:
This team has it all. Big names in all the right places, and several proven performers in most skill positions. The only problem; can Phillip Rivers deliver? My opinion is that Drew Brees was a product of his environment and not the core of this team. I think Rivers will be dialed in by game number three and this team is a legitimate threat as long as LaDanian Tomlinson is behind Rivers.

NFC next week.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Our Motel Experience


Well, this was a hoot. We were supposed to stay at a motel called Shore Haven in Lauderdale by the Sea, but the dude tossed us out. When my wife headed up to the room after checking in, she couldn't get the AC to blow cold air. I had also noticed that all the rooms had their windows and doors open. We went downstairs to tell them that the unit was not blowing refrigerated air and inquire whether or not it could be fixed or we could get a different room. Well the short story is the dude flipped out and snatched the keys from my wife and said go stay somewhere else.

We drove down to the place pictured above called La Cele. It was awesome Dennis, the owner, took us in with no reservation, and for $95 a night we got an 800 or 900 square foot apartment with a full kitchen and two double beds. It would have easily slept nine or ten folks. We were also only one block from the ocean which was gorgeous. The only bad news was that we realized we had left several things back at jerkweed's motel including my wife's wedding ring and all of our food. The items were successfully retrieved.

So, it was great to come home from the training and walk to the beach to hang out for a few hours. The Ocean was close to 90 degrees and beautiful. The vacation portion of the trip was great, the training was completely bogus.

The Zoo

Because we are members of the Knoxville Zoo, we got in for free. I recommend looking into the zoo and it reciprocal relationships with other city zoos. I enjoy the animals and learning about them and seeing how these people strive to take care of them to preserve the different species. At the Brevard zoo you can actually pet the giraffes which is pretty interesting since their heads are enormous and their tongues are very long.
It was a million degrees but we had a blast.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Vacation


We are hanging out at the in-laws and I have been enjoying my father-in-law's newest toy. That is a 2006 Yamaha Rhino 4X4. These things can go almost anywhere; we easily traversed a washout that was 2 feet across and 3 feet deep. Later we rolled through over 18 inches of mud as if it wasn't there. I dig this thing.

Yesterday we went to The Villages retirement community and had a blast. It was a hoot, I highly recommend a visit. I also plan to move in the second I hit the minimum age of 55. We also went to the Astronaut Hall of Fame which was very informative. I still don't really understand the space program and really don't understand how it benefits us much. According to the museum, they have contributed such things as gold-toe socks and oven mitts to society. I do think that space exploration is neat, but seems too expensive for the return on investment.

On the down side it has been hotter than the surface of the sun the whole time we have been here. Today we are planning to hit the Brevard Zoo which ought to be fun in the heat. After that we will head down to Fort Lauderdale for my training. See you there.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Visiting Florida


So I am on vacation/training down in Florida and as I drove into the state I saw the billboard pictured above. Seems like there is a group dedicated to hurting the tourism industry down here by talking about Florida's "shoot first" law. This law states that Floridians can stand their ground and meet force with force without fear of reprisal. I think that's great! It's never good to be the dude that shoots second. The state also has its lowest crime rate in 34 years since this law has been in effect.
I do think we should check out who gets a gun very carefully, and train them to use the weapon.
Once these requirements have been met, I think you should be able to defend yourself at any time and not worry if the person trying to hurt or rob you might sue you later. I know they want to scare off tourists, but that makes me want to live there.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Corporal Jerrod Fields

I found this yesterday:

Cpl. Jerrod Fields has been knocked down before.

Cancer took his mother when he was 7. A thug's bullet took his father six years later. A coach took his basketball scholarship at Tennessee State.

And, in Iraq, a roadside bomb took his left leg.

But every time Fields is knocked down, he dusts himself off and gets back up again.

Now, after a year of recovery, the 23-year-old has managed to stay a soldier and get promoted. And he has plans to re-enlist for six more years.

"I told myself when I came home that I wasn't going to let some guy in Iraq determine my future," said Fields as he showed off his prosthetic leg.

It's emblazoned with the American Flag and the four blue stripes of Fort Stewart's 3rd Infantry Division.

Yesterday's Army was likely to pat Fields on the back, quietly hand him a medical discharge and replace him in the ranks.

Today's Army is giving him a chance.

While there's no official policy on retaining seriously wounded or disabled soldiers, President Bush encouraged the practice early in the war during a visit to Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

"This is a new age, and this is a new (military)," Bush said in 2003. "Today, if wounded service members want to remain in uniform and can do the job, the military tries to help them stay."

As of March 1, there were 392 war amputees from Iraq and Afghanistan across all military branches, according to Walter Reed figures. Fields is one of about 80 who have chosen to re-enlist, passing the same rigorous tests all service members undergo.

"Fields knows he needs to go way above and beyond, which is what he's done," said Capt. Ryan Booth, about Fields promotion to corporal. "The kid showed the fitness board, chain of command and the entire Army that you can't kick him out."

To stay in, he needed to pass the fitness test for his age: run two miles in under 16 minutes and do at least 40 push-ups and 50 sit-ups in two-minute stretches.

Fields beams when he recites his two-mile time: 14 minutes, 26 seconds.

You can read the whole story here. Yesterday Vice President Dick Cheney drove to Fort Benning and re-enlisted this young man. I do not this man's politics, religion or background beyond what is stated in the article. I DO know that this is the definition of a man, hero and patriot. Someone who can see the greater good, and sacrifice himself for others whether or not they agree or understand with what he is doing.
Thanks Cpl. Fields HOOAH!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Stem Cell Research (Facts vs. Hype)


A fiercely debated topic to be sure. Put aside politics and morals and simply read the evidence I will present. Evidence to the contrary is welcomed provided you can provide it rationally.

http://www.family.org/fofmag/sl/a0024064.cfm
this is a religious website but, if you prefer, just read the facts and drop the moral case they present.

http://www.lifeissues.org/cloningstemcell/bradsarticle.html

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/StemCell/embryonic_adult.html
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2003/nov/03112001.html

Excellent debate, note that one side offers facts, and one side only theory and conjecture.

http://www.i-sis.org.uk/stemcells2.php

http://www.stemcellresearch.org/facts/treatments.htm

Thanks.

Captain Dude receives national recognition


I got referenced on a California website yesterday. After reading the comments on the page I am sure I will get some haters, so here are the rules haters. I will publish your comment as long as you aren't trashing someone's character, cussing, or flaming with no substance. No substance would be this:

Well, if it wasn't already obvious that Bush values his religious extremist supporters over scientific advances, then it surely is now. I read the text of the veto he sent the House and it showed that he has a simplistic view of exactly what stem cell research is all about. Human embryos are destroyed anyway, and most women destroy them each month. I guess that doesn't matter.
Bush to scientific research that doesn't have to do with tactical nuclear weapons: Drop Dead
Bush to the targets of these tactical nukes: Drop Dead

This offers no proof of anything, simply defamation.
Hey nothing wrong with election pandering to the base, it is an election year. Beside it draws attention away from his failed policies in the Middle-East and provides time for the Princess of Darkness Condoleeza Rice, not to be confused with Jerry Rice, consult with Israel on how to proceed in Lebanon.
Yeah the religious right in action again, that is why I keep getting further away from my Catholic roots, and coming to the conclusion that to my church, superstition has it over science, and blind obedience has it over real concern for humanity.
Again, no substance. Now we have two mentions of the word science with tirades of character libel.

He values their votes over human life, that's for sure.
His prop "Snow White Babies" each is alive only because other frozen embryos were sacrificed to create them. Think about that: one to six frozen embryos were destroyed in order that each of those pretty white babies could be born. But that's OK--there's a terrible shortage of White Babies to be adopted. It's important for the country to have more White Babies. White Babies are our country's future. Sure, there are plenty of babies and children looking for homes, but they're all the wrong color.
If I sound bitter at Bush's hypocritical pandering to the lunatic fringe--and be assured, you'll hear plenty from the religious nutcases opposing stem-cell research--it's because one of my spouses suffers from three different medical conditions for which stem-cell research shows promise. Take it away, Pax. But for Zeus' sake don't think through the logical implications of your theology. It'll cause doubt.

This example is both hateful and racist. This is unfortunate because this person seems to actually know someone that could have shed some light on the issue instead of just spewing hatred. It is also certainly idiotic to call the majority of America the "lunatic fringe."
This certainly shows how regressive the Republican base is at this time. If they could get away from all those church fund-raising events, and read about current events, they might realize they are only creating an ebay marketplace waiting to happen for stem cells. Private firms and the rest of the world are all on this technology and our private firms could use both regulation and funds from the government to allow this technology to grow in a sane ethical manner.
Such is the hypocrisy from the Christian Right that blast stem cell research and gorge with in vitro fertilization. No right wing moralist ever seems to have a problem with the harvesting and disposing of those embryos. I guess because one in a million embryos can make infertile woman pregnant with quintuplets.
As usual, for Bush and his base all life is only important until you're born, then you're on your own.
Excellent first paragraph minus the second sentence of course. From there it proceeds into conjecture that is largely untrue. The last sentence is ridiculous, as if there are no social programs available to people. If you are truly on your own after you are born then it is certainly a miracle that anyone lives past the age of two.

Black market, Adam. Ebay, unlike Republicans, has integrity after all.
But that brings up a nice point. Bush defines federally-funded stem-cell research as murder, but has no problem with privately-funded research. So presumably, as long as I don't use federal funds, he'll have no problems with my hiring a hit man.
Good to know Shrub's hypocrisy knows no bounds. Like I needed any proof of *THAT.*

This person wavered with lucidity in the middle but couldn't seem to articulate the point. Yes, private research is ok we are a free society after all. He simply won't allocate federal funds, which are limited anyway, ask all of your left wing movie stars to donate some cash to the private research. They have so much money that all of the "promising research" should provide cures in a year or two. Oh, wait Hollywood won't actually put up or shut up, they want governments to do it all.

The picture for this post is intended to portray that Christians do NOT think we are perfect or blameless in our decision making. We make mistakes, we stumble and we fall just like anyone else Democrat or Republican, black, latino, asian, or white. We simply hold ourselves accountable to God and not the will of man. We make the best decisions we can with the information available at that time. We also understand that this truly confounds some people and we are sorry. We do not judge and spew hatred at you for not understanding us, please extend that same courtesy. I am, of course, only speaking for the people I know and, as an example, not the church in Kansas that protests the funerals. There will be do-dos on either side of any argument when millions of people are involved.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Bush vetoes stem cell bill


Stem cell hype is based on little fact and so far adult stem cells look just as promising. So, with no qualms and no hesitation the President vetoed this bil.

Nicely done sir.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

CNN officially merges with the National Enquirer


CNN, which I always felt had a pretty sharp list to the port (left) side, has officially joined the ranks of the sensationalist leftist rags our country likes to call news outlets. Yesterday morning they ran a graphic entitled "Breaking News" President caught using expletive! Oh SHIT, I said that to see if any news crews would appear in my backyard while I watch my kids playing in the pool. Nope guess it didn't really matter. That's the stupidest crap I have ever heard, luckily our President is a Texan and probably is having a good laugh over whatever smacktard typed up that graphic.

I don't care if you dislike the President, but stick to real issues like policy not casual conversation.

More Mconahey

This mconahey crap is retarded, but I enjoy it. Captain Dude remains the only competitor to offer proof of ranking in the spirit of fair play.

The Middle East



I was listening to some analysis of the current crisis overseas and also reading some lefty websites about how terrible the Jews in Israel are. I have to say that Hezbollah woefully underestimated the IDF. It would appear that Israel has spent several years carefully mapping where in Lebanon this gaggle of retards have been hiding their resources. That is a good use of your time.

Israel wants the following for a cease-fire:
"The Prime Minister is prepared to finish our operations in Lebanon if Hezbollah releases our two soldiers, stops its rocket fire and if the Lebanese Government decides to implement UN Security Council resolution 1559," spokeswoman Miri Eisin told AFP.
The first two conditions are a no-brainer, and the UN Resolution can be read here. That document states that the Lebanese government should be in charge of Lebanon and not some Iranian terrorist group. Pretty much send Hezbollah out of Lebanon and make sure the Lebanese army keeps them out. Even Iran is wanting peace now and they supplied all the munitions and financing for this, well along with Syria, current conflict. These jackasses thought they could snatch a couple of Israelis and then barter for some of their prisoners, instead Israel opened up a much bigger can of whoop-ass than anyone suspected they possesed. I have been to Gaza and Haifa during my travels and hope that this conflict ends soon for the whole world's sake.

P.S. If you are a palestinian sympathizer please e-mail me and I will get you a plane ticket so you can go help them out.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Traffic Cameras


In today's paper there is a huge article about the new traffic cameras that have been installed around our fair city. It seems a few people hate these things and have some every interesting "excuses" and reactions to getting a ticket. One gentleman said he would never spend money in our city again because HE ran a redlight and got caught. That is absolutely fantastic logic, "I will only shop in a city where I can break the law." What a jackass. I am all for these cameras and hope they put one up every 3.5 feet on the roads around town. I am, in fact, for anything that will start enforcing traffic violations since cops seem to be too busy to do that anymore.

I have mentioned previously, and will continue, that I am tired of crappy overly aggressive drivers. People around here want to go 45+ in a 30 mph zone and ride my bumper and flip me off when I obey the law. Last Wednesday I was going 60 in a 55 when I moved into the EMPTY left hand lane to allow someone to merge easily onto I-140 towards the airport. Three seconds later a AAA flatbed with a red Jeep Liberty on the back got right on my bumper and started flashing his lights and hitting his horn. I had both of my children in the car and was NOT pleased. When I moved over he promptly sped up to between 85 and 90 so I called him in to AAA. They said I was the second person to complain about said idiot.

I have decided to employ a new tactic against the speed demon and cell phone idiots I see everywhere. I am going to start collecting their license plates and car make and model and mail it to the police once a week. Additionally, I am going to do the same in my neighborhood where people often speed past my home, 25 mph speed limit or less, at 45+ mph. The police might throw this in the trash, so I will post it on the web as well. If you feel this violates your privacy in some way, please jump off a cliff for me. I do not care about your privacy when you endanger my children.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Rankings


While Teddy is beating me, I do NOT support his claim to the number one ranking yet. I have also not yet revealed that I am actually related to Matthew Mconahey. We are twins separated at birth, he was born first then almost two years later I was born. As far as I am concerned this race is a dead heat.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ford Boycott and "Buycott"


I posted awhile back about Ford choosing sides in the battle which seems to rage on about homosexuality and its place in today's society. I wrote to some of the local dealers, and so far one has written back.

I disagree about the "boycott" of Ford products. Ford made the largest contribution to Christian Radio of any of the Auto makers. Ford, like the United Way, supports many organizations, however they don't agree with all of their programs. Most of the Auto makers support the same organizations that Ford contributes to. Please check and see what General Motors, Toyota, and Chrysler gave to the organization in question.
As for this Dealership, we do not in any way support homosexuality. On Friday mornings for over twenty years we have a Baptist Minister come to our dealership to have services for our employees on a voluntary basis for attendance. Most employees attend. Lesson for this week was "Stay the Course", don't quit when your down. He covered the problems Paul faced as a Christian. (Dealer Name Removed) employees are God fearing Christians who don't deserve to be punished with something Ford did. A boycott hurts their ability to care for their families. Our used car inventory is made up of varied makes other than Ford.
I appreciate the response and agree with many things he stated. I could dispute individual points but why bother.

I also decided to read arguments both for and against this issue and encourage others to do the same.

One side:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/03/ford_antigay.html
http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/archives/2006/03/afas_ford_boyco.html
http://fordglobe.org/


Another side:
http://www.boycottford.com/
http://www.afa.net/ford052506.asp

Makes for some fun reading on a slow day, and beware the pictures on the pro-gay sites. Different images are definitely used to try and attract different folks.

More celebrities


We can't let Matthew Mconahey have all the attention right? Tommy Cruise hasn't been able to stay off camera for more than 15 minutes at a time until their "baby" was born. Now where is he? A few months ago, he was jumping and screaming across talk show and late night sets about how proud he was and how much he was looking forward to it. What happened? I read today that the so-called parents did not even sign the birth certificate, they had a friend do it.
It's probably all part of some scientology garbage. We have all actually seen the baby but the evil aliens are shielding our eyes. That last line is, unfortunately, something they actually believe is possible.

P.S. Captain Dude got another mention by the VelvetMantis yesterday. It's always good to get mentioned by Velvet and Teddy, but terribly unfortunate when they say crap like "it's on." Losers.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Another Mconahey sighting


Shamelessly, well actually I am quite embarrassed, Teddy from just-teddy.com has responded in a violent and disgusting manner in the misspelled Mconahey rankings contest. Teddy has chosen to bare his own chest in an effort to repel people from his website. I respond with the classic "I just threw up a little in my mouth" which is sadly true. I am now debating my own shirtless picture but shall leave that to the readers of my blog to decide whether or not I shall bare my chest on the Internet. I also refuse to repeat the subject's name multiple times in a single post and furthermore I extend the respect of capitalizing Teddy's name. I shall win with no excuses.
Please comment on whether or not Captain Dude should appear half-naked in a future post.
P.S. Should this disgusting turn of events cause me to remove my shirt I will call upon the photographic talents of the VelvetMantis. This should ensure which way he votes.
MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Fatherless Children


In today's society we are seeing more and more that men are not accepting their responsibilities regarding their families. It sadddens me to think of how many children will go through life with only one parent (father or mother) and disgusts me that people could ever shun their own children. If you are "grown-up" enough to make a child then I wish you would be man or wman enough to be responsible AND set a good example for the life you helped create. I went through today's paper and decided to display the first ten names I discovered that had no father listed in the birth announcements, I specified gender where it may not have been obvious:
D'mom Rashaad (boy)
Starla Grace
Shyanne Gabrielle
Micah Ellouise (girl)
Aryanna Elizabeth
Des'Zyre O'mazsha (girl)
Kennedy LeeAnn (girl)
Steven Gaige
Nicholas William
Kellsie Ann

I't so sad that some of these may never know their dad. On a side note I often wonder if some of the mothers are misspelling names on purpose to be original or just doing something phoenetic because they cannot actually spell the name they want.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Movie Review (Cars)


Moving on to the first film viewed last evening we saw Disney/Pixar's (are these the same company now?) new release Cars. With some good voice actors including Owen Wilson, Bonnie Hunt, Cheech Marin, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Keaton and Paul Newman the cast was obviously solid. The story was fantastic, if not a bit cheesy, and in the end decides to forsake the typical selfish "winning is still important" attitude.
The story is kind of a take-off from Doc Hollywood combined with some Fast and the Furious and a sprinkle of Lady and the Tramp. In all I found it very entertaining and on par with Disney's top tier films. I was pleasantly surprised since I did not think that the story would interest me at all; I had the same misconception when Toy Story came out. All the adults and kids loved it ranging in age from 3 - 36.

I HIGHLY recommend this film.
MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey

Movie Review (Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest)


The family rolled out to the "local" drive-in to catch the double feature of Cars and Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest. The first PoC movie was interesting and I actually only watched it because someone said my five and seven year olds would enjoy it. Let's stop right here and clear up that I do NOT think these are great for kids, lots of dead, dying, and death spiritual junk all the time. People get killed just off-camera quite a bit too. Our kids sleep through the second film and only watched Cars.
I am not a Johnny Depp fan, I think the dude is way weird and fruity. That said he, and the rest of the cast, really deliver and are believeable in their respective roles. It's pretty easy to see where the film's budget goes with all the starpower. Anyway, the cast is great and they deliver top notch performances I just don't care for the stories I guess. They are somewhat dull and extremely predictable and something seems to be lacking. Moments in the film that should be suspenseful seem awkward to me, and the ending of this film definitely could have been pretty shocking but just came off as abruptly stopping. Perhaps the score is lacking but I wasn't engaged enough to pay attention at this point. If you have young teens I am sure the will love it completely as the movie is as awkward as any child in an adult body.
Not Very Official Mconahey site MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey
I do NOT recommend this film.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The Greatest Play in Baseball



Today I read Mike and Tommy's blogs and just had to jump onboard. Rick Monday acted on instinct without thought that he was making history. His humble spirit in this interview shows what a true hero is.

I was disappointed to see that congress is incapable of understanding when something is truly offensive and protecting our national symbol. We take great steps to ensure no one hears the name of Christ just in case it burns their ears; at the same time we let people mock our symbol of power and freedom.

Shamelessly, I give you the cowards (no real surprises) who voted no (opposed to protecting) on the flag burning amendment:
Akaka, D-Hawaii
Bennett, R-Utah
Biden, D-Delaware
Bingaman, D-New Mexico
Boxer, D-California
Byrd, D-West Virginia
Cantwell, D-Washington
Carper, D-Delaware
Chafee, R-Rhode Island
Clinton, D-New York
Conrad, D-North Dakota
Dodd, D-Connecticut
Dorgan, D-North Dakota
Durbin, D-Illinois
Feingold, D-Wisconsin
Harkin, D-Iowa
Inouye, D-Hawaii
Jeffords, I-Vermont
Kennedy, D-Massachusetts
Kerry, D-Massachusetts
Kohl, D-Wisconsin
Lautenberg, D-New Jersey
Leahy, D-Vermont
Levin, D-Michigan
Lieberman, D-Connecticut
McConnell, R-Kentucky
Mikulski, D-Maryland
Murray, D-Washington
Obama, D-Illinois
Pryor, D-Arkansas
Reed, D-Rhode Island
Sarbanes, D-Maryland
Schumer, D-New York
Wyden, D-Oregon
I thought I would highlight the turds who think they should be President too, people who think they have the stones to lead us but they can't even stand for the flag. I want speech to be protected, please voice your opinion if you can do it respectfully. Being a jackass like a flag burner is not freedom of speech, it's just a coward who should go live in another country.
MconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconaheyMconahey

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Blogthings (also stupid)

You Are Superman

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
And pretty cute too. No wonder you're the most popular superhero ever!


You Are Wolverine

Small but fierce, you're a great fighter.
Watch out! You are often you're own greatest enemy.

Powers: Adamantium claws, keen senses, the ability to heal quickly


You Are 89% American

You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges.
Tough and independent, you think big.
You love everything about the US, wrong or right.
And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you!

Mconahey (This is Stupid)


Only a few months after getting into the foray, I am number 1 in the google search rankings for the misspelled mconahey. This is extremely unoriginal of me but I wanted to pat myself on the back anyway.
Please note that Captain Dude was mentioned by the VelveMantis over on bugly. You should not read bugly while trying to drink, it will come out of your nose.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sad fourth for someone


Yesterday I took the family to The Lost Sea in Sweetwater Tennessee, and overall it was an excellent experience. Our tour guide was about 16 and I think this was her first tour alone, but she tried hard. On the way back to Knoxville I was driving 65-68 in the right hand lane on I-75 north and, of course, being passed by almost everyone since no one is capable of obeying the law. One of the people that passed me was a motorcycle rider on a nice big hog doing about 90. When he came to pass me there were three cars in the left hand lane that he was weaving in and out of to get wherever he was going faster. Five minutes later we came upon what was left of him. This poor guy was done with this world, people were slamming on their brakes and swerving into the right hand lane to avoid hitting his body. My wife was on her cell phone and mistakenly looked at him as he lay there. We got the kids to look at the floor then I pulled up next to his body to take a quick look and see if any assistance would be needed as I used to be EMT-b qualified. There was no need to attempt to render assistance, his helmet was in a thousand pieces for about 15 feet and his bike was about sixty yards ahead of his body on the opposite side of the road. His injuries were severe with his face having the most graphic damage, and all of his limbs were completely inoperable. I phoned in the accident to 911 and really just felt my heart break for this dude's family. Later my wife told me that there was a second motorcycle down and I remembered people looking off the side of a bridge as we went by. Had I seen that I definitely would have stopped since I don't think most people have even basic first aid training.

I described that scene to say this, please drive carefully. If you are on a motorcycle your helmet can only protect you at reasonable speeds and reasonable circumstances. If you see a motorcycle give them a wide berth, just tapping a bike with a car is usually fatal. Please don't be in such a hurry, on a 100 mile trip if I am going 65 I will arrive in 1 hour and 32 minutes, if you are going 80 you will beat me there by a whole 17 minutes. Seventeen minutes is not worth your life, or my family having to see you or your victim mangled on the road.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Facing the Giants (Again)


Earlier in June(Captain Dude) I wrote about this movie getting the shaft from the MPAA. It seems that with the advent of rapid communication, and Christians who are tired of being pushed around the MPAA is changing their tune(CNN). Now they are saying it has nothing to do with religion, but rather the "mature themes" throughout the film. If you read the CNN link it's very clear that the MPAA is having to backtrack after irritating the conservatives out there.

All that said, I can't wait until this movie comes out. Click here to watch the trailer.

Independence Day July 4, 2006



Tomorrow we celebrate our independence, our freedom that was earned through the lives of very brave people a long time ago. I chose the images above because your liberty is always at risk. If you do not stand up for what you believe, someone will try to take it away.

Someone might tell you that you can't thank Jesus Christ for blessing you with a brilliant mind that allowed you to become valedictorian of your high school.

Someone might tell you that you will learn about Kwanzaa, but cannot teach others the meaning of Christmas.

Someone might even tell you that 15% of the people should get 80% of the jobs.

Someone might tell you it's ok to kill an unborn fetus, but you shouldn't eat meat.

Someone might even try to tell you that your child having a mother and a father isn't normal.

Someone might say that marriage is whatever you want it to be.

Everyone has a right to their opinion, but I also have a right to mine. I lived overseas for five years and visited some wonderful and not so wonderful places. I have taken up arms for other countries so that they too might experience some of the freedoms we enjoy. I have been called a "babykiller" by a snot nosed know-it-all college kid out of ignorance. I have been told that I am "brainwashed" because I served in the United States Navy. To them I say I served then and I would serve again. As you celebrate your freedom tomorrow please take a moment and remember those brave souls we revere from so long ago, but don't forget the men and women who, right now, are spreading these same freedoms across the globe.
When you hear the National Anthem stand, remove your hat, face the flag, and listen or sing along. When you say the pledge of allegiance know what it means:

January 14, 1969 - During his weekly television show, comedian Red Skelton recalled a lecture by his teacher concerning an air of boredom and indifference by the students while saying the pledge. Here is a portion of that lecture - followed by an observation of his own.

I
(Me, an individual, a committee of one.)
Pledge
(Dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity.)
Allegiance
(My love and my devotion.)
To the Flag
(Our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom, wherever she waves there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts, "Freedom is everybody's job.")
Of The United
(That means that we have all come together.)
States
(Individual communities that have united into forty-eight great states. Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose. All divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that's love for country.)
Of America. And to the Republic
(Republic--a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people; and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.)
For which it stands: One Nation,
(Meaning, so blessed by God.)
Indivisible
(Incapable of being divided.)
With Liberty
(Which is Freedom; the right of power to live one's own life, without threats, fears, or some sort of retaliation.)
And Justice
(The principle or quality of dealing fairly with others.)
For All
(Which means it's as much your country as it is mine.)

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance: Under God. Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer, and that would be eliminated from schools, too? -- Red Skelton

Click Here to Listen.

“Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.”
John Jay
Founding Father
and
First Supreme Court Justice

Friday, June 30, 2006

Friday's Jokes


How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

Manisms

Thursday, June 29, 2006

PETA (losers)

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have been lying to the public for many years. I personally donated money to them in 1995 before I knew what they were really about. I got a solicitation in the mail to help save a few homeless pups and sent in $20. I was then bombarded with animal horror stories for several years, lesson learned. Some PETA member equate themselves with people like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, and Jesus Christ. They ALL equate a chickens life with a human's life. If you are a vegan, it's all good. I am not going to extol the benefits of eating meat and I am cool with people being vegetarian to whatever degree. Leave me alone though. I have a problem when people lie to try and trick others into believing their point of view. That said here is a short 15 minute video on what PETA is really all about.

WARNING: Strong language!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Marijuana for Medical Use


I heard on the radio yesterday a very interesting narrative about the benefits some patients could get from using marijuana. There were about three good points made and cases where I could actually see the drug as a benefit for a very small portion of the population that suffer from some pretty terrible afflictions such as cancer, and other terminal illnesses. I should probably also state that I have never actually tried marijuana and have no desire to try it at all.

I think the problem is that the people that promote this stuff are "stoners" and sound like they are currently lit up. The dude that was promoting legalization of marijuana went from lucid to idiot in about 2 seconds. Here are some examples of what he said:

Marijuana can benefit several types of illnesses. (true)
Marijuana grows new brain cells. (yeah right)
Marijuana's side effects are negligible. (not even close)

I already spoke to the first topic, and agree that certain folks could benefit from the use of cannabis. Now I can promise that this stuff doesn't grow new brain cells. Simply sample the population of folks who use the drug regularly and compare them with people who have never used it. It's that simple. Marijuana's side effects are well documented and I have personally witnessed it ruin the life of someone very close to me. Easily acquired and recreationally used, marijuana cost my brother a legitimate shot at life; I am not saying he would have been the president but at least he could have had a chance. I also realize that it doesn't affect everyone this way, but it can do great harm to some people.

The other point that hurts these arguments is that it's a bunch of stoners who think they are going to be able to grow this stuff in their backyard for headaches or something. I believe marijuana could be legalized for certain uses if the groups pushing for legalization would narrow their focus and concentrate only on the people who actually NEED the benefits it provides. I would guess that two-thirds of the people I hear pushing for legalization simply end up ranting about something not relevant at all. For example the guy yesterday, who represents the American Medical Marijuana Association completely blew his chance at legitimacy by saying:

"The current government is afraid of legalizing marijuana because people who use it are much less likely to stand up and salute a flag and go fight a war because someone else told you to."


This guy was making really good points until he lit up his fatty and got diarrhea of the mouth coupled with loss of forethought. It's that kind of idiocy that will keep this drug off the shelves so to speak.
Pretty much he stated that:

A) People who use marijuana are too smart and enlightened to think that anyone might be able to better understand the needs of our country.
B) Only idiotic followers choose to serve in our military and/or support our government.

So really if you want marijuana legalized for the folks that can actually benefit from it, stop trying to get your own private stash legalized and focus on the medicinal value only.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Wicca (WifeSwap)


I admit it, last night I watched WifeSwap. That show is weird but it hooked me in pretty quick. One of the ladies was a very devout follower of Wicca. Going so far as to have a house elf conjured to clean her home. The house was, of course, filthy since there is no such thing as a house elf. The thing that struck me the most was that she was "homeschooling" her oldest daughter. This girl was learning NOTHING, I can't believe that lady didn't go to jail. She was teaching her child herbology and other nonsensical crap that would set her up for a career at McDonald's. I guess it's cool that freedom of religion allows you to choose what you want to worship. I would hope that before you decide you would do some non-biased research into your chosen religion.

Wicca was carved out of thin air in 1954 by a dude named Gerald Gardner. He does claim that the religion is much more ancient and was taught to him by Dafo or Old Dorothy. None of this can be independently verified at all. Dude was a laborer and liked to read about the occult, I think he planted rubber trees. Anyway, much research has been done and no one can verify anything older than the 1920's. Closely associated with witchcraft, they don't always intertwine, the lady last night thought she could do magic. Naturally nothing magic happened on TV. I once dislocated my arm playing intramural football on a military base. When I returned to work in great pain one of the Electronic Technicians came up and offered to "heal" me. I asked her what she meant by that and she whispered "I am a witch." I said sure fix me up and she began to mumble some crap and rubbed something between her hands then put her hands on my injury. Nothing happened of course and the problem was apparently the "energy in the room."

So be Wiccan if you want but I did my own research and it ain't for me, and don't come yapping about how it's older than any other religion. I have noticed lately that people tend to only use research by people heavily invested in their own way of thinking, this is never a good idea. You will, of course, hear only what you want and not get the facts. In particular I noticed this on Mancow this morning with a dude talking marijuana up. I am saving that for later today or tomorrow though.