Why can't people drive?

I don't like the language in this, but I totally agree wiht this guy. I am tired of all the NASCAR wannabe types, cell phone idiots and speeders. Those laws are there for a reason quit honking at me and passing when you shouldn't. Overly agressive idiots:

Stop driving like a maniac. Nobody is impressed.

"Too many people think they're good drivers because they drive like lunatics and usually get away with it. They take corners too fast, tailgate for no reason, accelerate all over the place, and do every other "daring" stunt that drivers can make. When I say, "Dude, slow the hell down." They condescendingly reply, "Haha, are you scared, man? Haha. Naw man, don't be scared, I'm a good driver." No. Shut up. You're not a "good driver." You have no idea what you're doing. A good driver doesn't make me grab the Oh Crap! bar every twenty seconds. Just chill the hell out. We're not in a rush. Slow down and realize that old ladies crossing roads have relatives that care about them.

There are two types of good drivers - people who understand that they are not exempt from traffic laws, and people that actually know what they're doing behind a wheel, which nobody does. They think they do, but they don't. It's gotten to the point where everyone who can floor the gas and stay between the two lines is a NASCAR racer. There is actually a skill to driving, and it's beyond cramming your foot into the pedal. Nobody is impressed that you can floor the gas. It's really not that hard to do.

The "floor the gas" trick is a pretty easy one to pull off. Another trick that's equal in difficulty is called "roll over and play dead." It looks something like this:

I've been in two major accidents in my life. Both were caused by adolescent females trying to be hardcore just so they could get me in the sack. Instead, everyone ended up in a hospital bed, which doesn't work too well for sex. Lucky for them, I'm immortal. I hate people. After those two wrecks, I've learned my lesson. Now I just don't drive with girls. However, there was this one time I was driving on the highway with a girl who was talking on her cellphone with one hand, leaning on the other, and steering with her leg. That pissed me off so much, I jerked the wheel, pressed the seat eject button, and launched out of the car in time to watch that robot from the ski game gobble her up before the car ran off the road at 80mph and exploded into dust. Fuckin' robot, always counting all my coup.

The most common thing people tell me when I call them a bad driver is, "I'm a good driver, I've never been in a wreck!" It doesn't matter if you've never caused an accident. Dying in an car wreck is not a chronic, progressive disease. It's not like 5 wrecks give you a headache and 20 wrecks kills you. It only takes one accident to kill everyone in the car. So what if you've been driving for 2 years or 10 years, that wreck is coming, and when it does, nobody will have sympathy or attend your funeral. They will simply say, "That idiot had it coming."

Does being a safe driver make a person a wuss? I don't know. Maybe. But before making a character judgement about someone because of their conservative driving habits, let's put things into perspective:

Deaths by Firearms in US 1990 2,406 1991 1,441 1992 1,409 1993 1,441 1994 1,356 1995 1,224 1996 1,134 1997 981 1998 866 1999 824 2000 776 2001 800 2002 820 2003 912

Deaths by Terrorism in US 1990 0 1991 0 1992 0 1993 6 1994 0 1995 168 1996 0 1997 0 1998 0 1999 0 2000 0 2001 2,801 2002 0 2003 0

Americans who died in car wrecks 1990 46,814 1991 43,536 1992 40,982 1993 41,893 1994 42,524 1995 43,363 1996 43,649 1997 43,458 1998 43,501 1999 42,401 2000 43,354 2001 43,700 2002 44,000 2003 45,320

Tailgating is the worst. If there is a car in front of you that you cannot pass, tailgating it won't get you to your destination any quicker. Tailgating would be okay if it were possible for cars to diffuse through eachother. Unfortunately, God has left osmosis to amoebas and what not. Amoebas are sweet. I can't wait to become an amoeba."