Airline Travel Part two

So here's the response from Airline number 1:

Dear Captain Dude,

Thank you for your e-mail describing the problem you experienced.

As a goodwill gesture, we will mail a $100.00 Transportation Credit
which may be used toward future Crappy Airline travel and some travel-related
services. Vouchers are valid for one year from the date of issue and may
not be combined. They may be redeemed at any Delta ticketing facility or
authorized travel agency; however, they are not currently redeemable
online. Please refer to the terms and conditions for additional
information.

Again, thank you for writing. Please accept our apology for the
inconvenience you experienced. We look forward to serving you under more
normal conditions.

Sincerely,

I am a complete tool!
Online Customer Support Desk

I changed the names to protect the innocent and completely stupid and bolded all text that I changed. Great they gave me $100 so I can re-experience that hell again, and I can't redeem it online; not to mention that ticket cost about $500. Pretty much they are sending me one of those things car dealers send that looks like a check but is actually less valuable than toilet paper.

I wrote them back and asked for my plasma TV.

Comic Relief 2006

Late last week I saw that Comic Relief 2006 was coming on HBO so I decided to watch and get a laugh. I was amazed that none of these people can tell jokes anymore. All they do is bash the President, and they don't just make fun of his voice or something half comical like that, they are really mean about his character. It was really awful and actually made me want to not donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.
Bill Maher, looking like a circus clown in his bad make-up, rants about how stupid the President is because of Dr. David Hager's appointment on some FDA advisory committee. This man's transgressions apparently taint everyone on Capitol Hill if you believe Maher. Then comes Ray Romano, he was pretty funny and just did a nice normal comedy routine. Then Rosie O'Donnell gets up there and does THE EXACT SAME THING Maher did. She used different words but it was the same boring White House crap. By the way Rosie doesn't want to visit Arizona now because the airports are testing the full body x-ray machines and they violate her privacy. I think that really sucks since most people really want to see Rosie naked. I miss the days when comics could actually tell jokes that were funny, swearing was shock value, and they had to be creative. Now they stand up and just whine. LAME!!

Airline Travel (sucks)

The Captain had to hit the road this week and I thought I would share with you the wonders of modern airline travel.

Initially I was scheduled to fly out of TN on Monday at 0600 go through Cincinnati and end up in Washington DC at 0956 for two days. My phone rang at 0302 on Monday with an automated recording saying that my flight had been moved back one hour, and that I would arrive in DC about 40 minutes later. Great, I hopped back into bed for an extra bit of sleep. 0502 my phone rings again with a recording saying that my flight will be leaving at 0600, OH CRAP!, which is great since I live 30 mins from the airport. I scramble through the shower, get dressed and get to the airport at 0545. The ticket lady was pleasant and called the gate and I made my flight. Wow, I thought, that was ridiculous. I understand the first call, but you can't do that "never mind" or "psyche" crap after you make a decision. ANYWAY!
I spend my two days on-site in DC and prepare to fly to my second stop in Michigan. I am scheduled to leave at 0645 am Wednesday morning from DC. Guess what? My phone rings at 0400, I cannot fly out until 1100 arriving in Michigan at 1645. I called the airline and told them this was not acceptable as I was traveling on business and had appointments to keep. After about 20 minutes they got me on a 0730 on a different airline, arriving in Michigan about 1 hr later than planned. Fortunately I was packed and ready and headed to the airport taking the first metro I could to get there. I arrived at Washington National at about 0645 and went to the main concourse, unable to find the airline I needed to check in. I asked a porter and he said "That's in terminal A." with his best "you are a dumbass" sneer. What the hell is Terminal A? I went outside got on a bus and spent 8 minutes getting to Terminal A. I ran in and tried to check in with the automated thing. The auto check-in said I was within 25 minutes of departure time so please talk to the agent. I asked Lulu, not making that up, for some help. She smiled and began typing on her weird keyboard. TEN MINUTES LATER she hands me a boarding pass for a 0935 flight to Detroit (not my final destination) and said something I did not understand. Lulu's english was very poor. I told her I still had 15 minutes and needed to get on the 0730 flight for which I was booked. She smiled and nodded saying the boarding pass was just to get through security. I have never heard of that but thought great and sprinted down to security. I put my laptop in one separate bin, my shoes in another, my jacket in another, and my toiletries (in their clear Ziploc) in yet another. Stood in the puffer, got wanded, walked through the metal detector and started getting dressed and packed again. I got to the gate at 0720, there was no one in line at security, and saw the plane was already pushed back. I asked the lady at the gate why the plane pushed back early and she said it wasn't early. I asked her what time it was and she said 0720, I said what time is this plane supposed to leave and she said 0730. I informed her that would be known as early. She shrugged and walked away. I called the 1-800 number for the airline and got some dude who informed me that he was an idiot and mostly useless. I got another person who found out that not only had Lulu screwed me over by not knowing our language but she had booked me only to Detroit, and not my final destination. He got everything fixed up for me but never apologized for my inconvenience. I spent the next two hours, no Internet access, calling my boss, client, wife, hotel, and rental car company to update and adjust arrival times.

Beyond the airlines screwing me, the whole security screening process is crap. You can only have tiny little containers of toothpaste, shampoo, and other stuff and they have to be in a Ziploc. We do all of this because we don't want to single out Middle Eastern people as the ONLY PEOPLE who ever hijack airplanes. Stupid!

I am very much looking forward to Friday evenings flight home. I am debating turning my phone off and just showing up at the airport as scheduled. I also purposely did not yet name the Airlines as I plan to make them buy me a nice HDTV to make up for their 100% failure rate this week. If they won't give me the hookup I'll post the names Monday.

Scientology

I have posted on Scientology before but, since it hasn't died out, I felt the need to do it again. Scientology is a crazy cult and it amazes me that people belong to something so amazingly whacked out. The doors of their "Churches" say "By invitation only, that should clue you in right there. Any so called church that doesn't let you walk in and learn is NOT GOOD. Additionally they have levels of membership and keep things from the biggest body of believers. They hide the Xenu alien possession stuff until you are sufficiently invested and can't get out. Xenu took over the planet 75 million years ago, and all non-scientologists are "possessed" by evil alien entities and we need their guidance to get rid of our possessors. When people confront them on their beliefs they get stomped and slandered by this cult. Watch the videos on this site to get an idea of how they treat people.

They believe that you can become a god and do all kinds of crazy crap as long as you give them enough money. Those kinds of things are on their website, and I also encourage you to read what they have to say about themselves. The newest thing is that they appear to be opening up a little and not trying to hide all of their weirdness anymore since so much gets leaked when parishioners DIE or run screaming for their lives. You can click here to read about the E-meter and "auditing sessions", real standard stuff for sure.

I know this is a lot of reading and references, but check it out and see what these yahoos are all about.

Danny DeVito

Mr DeVito decided to show up drunk on The View (crappy show) to promote his Christmas movie. I am getting really tired of the way celebrities act in public. I mean no one is perfect and I don't expect that but really if you are scheduled to promote your new movie that's pretty inexcusable. Along the way he also decided to talk about having sex with his wife(Rhea Perlman), which is a great mental image. He also tossed in the gratuitous celebrity Bush bashing along the way. It almost appeared as if he wanted to see if he could be as big of a loser as Tom Cruise and his Scientology crap.

Speaking of Scientology I will be bashing them in just a few minutes in another post.

Movie Review (The Polar Express)

So, my kids saw this movie with their Grandparents a couple of years ago and I have heard all this great stuff about it ever since. It was on TV last night, so I figured I would check it out. This movie sucked very much bad. The story was just mediocre, but the killer was the very dark creepy animation. The players look like people that have had a layer of animation painted on them. I am also pretty sure Tom Hanks played at least four characters in the movie and, while I am a fan of his, that was too much. I found the sleigh bell and Santa scenes very anti-climatic and really just never connected with the story. To sum up, the story is the typical "get you to believe in Santa" stuff prevalent in almost all Christmas stuff that isn't religious. This is sometimes really good, The Santa Clause, but this time really just creepy.

To sum up, my kids love it and so do their Grandparents so I guess you should take your kids to see it. I hated it.

Christian Comedy

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Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.

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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.

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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

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It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

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The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

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People are funny; they want the
front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.

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Quit griping about your
church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

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If the church wants a
better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

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God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

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Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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Peace starts with a smile.

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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?!

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A lot of church members who
are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

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We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

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Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

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Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

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He who angers you, controls you!

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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

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Prayer:

Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.

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The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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We don't change the message, the message changes us.

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You can tell how big a person
is by what it takes to..........discourage him.

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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

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If this e-mail blessed you in a profound way today my Dear Friend, PLEASE pass this along to your friends to bless them today, tomorrow and ALWAYS! May God and His Son bless you from today on out! Don't FORGET pass this e-mail along, I bet someone will LOVE it just as much as you did.

Philanthropy

I watched 20/20 last night since they had a special on giving and charitable donations. The special was great but unfortunately not surprising. I would encourage you to read the article by clicking here, and see the contributing factors. It seems that several factors contribute to who gives, and who gives more. Not surprising is that conservatives give much more than liberals. This shouldn't surprise anyone since liberals want the government to do the giving. John Stossel asked one of the researchers if there was any one dominant factor in determining how much someone will give. Here is the answer:

Finally, the single biggest predictor of whether someone will be charitable is their religious participation.

Religious people are more likely to give to charity, and when they give, they give more money: four times as much. And Arthur Brooks told me that giving goes beyond their own religious organization:

"Actually, the truth is that they're giving to more than their churches," he says. "The religious Americans are more likely to give to every kind of cause and charity, including explicitly non-religious charities."

For the experiment at the end of the article they placed a Salvation Army bucket in Sioux Falls and one in San Francisco. Sadly, the Sioux Falls bucket not only won by percentage but also had more money at the end of the day. The people passing by the San Francisco bucket outnumbered the Sioux Falls bucket by 100 to 1.

The point is that if you want things to change or be different or better start with yourself and your family. I don't want anyone else doing my giving for me, I'll take care of it myself. I enjoy giving to the charities, organizations and missionaries I support. I also enjoy donating the things I no longer use instead of having garage sales and such. If you aren't a giver, give it a shot and if you are thanks for helping the world be a better place instead of just talking about it.

Vegetarians

A few days ago I was watching Larry King live, more accurately someone turned it on and I was stuck in the room, and the special guest was Alec Baldwin. During the course of the interview Mr. Baldwin states that he is a vegetarian, at that point I wondered how many pounds of lettuce and beans you have to consume to get a second chin like that. Celebrities are pretty people who should mostly shut up when asked to weigh in on anything of importance, see Celebrity Jeopardy. Overweight vegetarians seem odd and also seem only to exist among the not so die-hard sect of the phenomenon. I am cool with people who don't want to eat meat, it's certainly your choice. What I dislike are the goobers who try to convince the rest of us not to eat it. I mean really, I don't go around trying to get them to eat meat so why can't they leave me alone. Here are the reasons I eat meat:

1. It tastes good.

2. That's what those animals are for. What else would we do with all those cows, chickens, pigs and fish?

3. In the right amounts eating meat is very healthy.

It's very difficult to get all the right vitamins without eating meat. Protein, Iron and B12 are especially difficult for the vegan, but you can get it from manufactured sources. The true vegans I have met in the past were not healthy looking folks though I am sure there are a few out there. My point is, I will let you not eat meat, if you will leave me, and my kids, alone when we do eat it.
Why do extreme vegetarian groups protest nude sometimes? That has always perplexed me.

Movie Review (Click)

Click is the story of a man frustrated with his life. He is frustrated because he desires monetary success, but really he is frustrating himself. In an effort to have less stress he leaves home late on night to purchase a universal remote control since he has too many. I thought this was the first oddity of the movie and it didn't really seem interesting. Long story short, he goes to the "Beyond" department of Bed, Bath and Beyond where "Morty" gives him a remote that controls his, Adam Sandler's, universe. There were some nifty things at first, but overall this movie seemed to lack ... everything. For sure Adam Sandler sways between I love and hate his work. for example I live The Wedding Singer and Mr. Deeds, but hate The Waterboy and Billy Madison. This story is the typical family is more important than money/success type thing but it's pulled of poorly. I never got to a level where I cared much about the characters. You know his boss, David Hasselhoff, better than his wife. His wife is also waaaaaay out of his league and I suppose there was some sort of neat romance story but it really gets glossed over. Instead you get more Hasselhoff. To his credit Hasselhoff played his character well, and everyone else seemed like they were just showing up for work. The movie was worth finishing but overall a waste of time.

I don't recommend this movie.

P.S. I also rented Running Scared based on the cast and reviews on the box. Canned it after ten minutes when the opening bloody shootout appeared to be acted out by 12 yr olds.

Total suckfest!

Politicians Suck

Now that the House and Senate have swapped party control we are already getting to see some ridiculous political wrangling. Apparently Ms. Pelosi wants Colonel Murtha for the Majority leader and the rest of her party wants Steny Hoyer, the current whip. To be clear I don't give a crap who it is at all. I just think it's sad that we have to see this type of infighting already. I am sure the other side of the aisle is already enjoying this total crapfest. I think that's crap too that Republicans are enjoying this. Career politicians just can't seem to work on issues, they have to work on each other all the time. A good example is this quote from Col. Murtha:

"Even though I think it’s total crap, I’ll vote for it and pass it because that’s what Nancy wants," Murtha said.

Hey man, thanks for looking out for the American people. That's a decorated war hero folks, and I am sure a good man on some level but geez why do you support something that's "total crap?" Why is it total crap, and can we have something better that isn't total crap?

I think the point is that there is no such thing as bipartisan amongst career politicians. Sad but true.

The Captain's knee

According to the Physician's Assistant I saw yesterday I have a partially torn ACL in my left knee that most likely would not be helped by surgery. We will try to overcome the instability I feel through six weeks of aggressive physical therapy. At the end of the six weeks I will be re-evaluated by a surgeon. I know everyone was dying to hear all of that, the best part is that my insurance doesn't cover PT until I meet my deductible.

Which is why I will reserve this space to give the finger to privatized medicine.

P.S. I have also declined the advice of Mike to "cut it off mid-thigh" as I left my circular saw at church.

Elton John's religious views (updated)

Elton John, Sir intentionally left out, has recently spoken out about organized religion. Most notably he said he would ban religion. That's very open minded and liberal huh? Sounds perfectly communist to me. What a jackass!

"I think religion has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people," John said to the British newspaper The Observer. "Religion promotes the hatred and spite against gays."

While there are certainly people who hate gays religion does not promote this. The Bible does proclaim homosexuality as a sin, but it is no different than any other sin. For me, the problem is that is grosses me out to think about, or see, men kissing each other etc.. I took the quote from the printed article located here. Please feel free to take a look at the Be Ghey website and note how overly sexual everything is. I especially liked the Shopping link where you can get all sorts of weird stuff. I am glad Mr. John finally spoke up, I had been wanting his opinion on so many things.

All kidding aside it is now perfectly acceptable for different groups to attack Christianity directly with almost no fear of reprisal. Huge companies, Wal-Mart and Ford, now give preferential treatment to gay and lesbian groups. I don't want these people to be treated unfairly but I also think that targeting specific groups does not bring about equality. Sell your products to all people at the same price regardless of any affiliation, that's equality. Trying to ensure that you have 10% of one color of skin, and 14% of this sexual orientation may seem like you are helping, but that is what breeds ill feelings towards each other. Hire the most qualified person, and promote the best workers if you really want to set a good example.

Kudos to the state of Michigan for banning affirmative action in its current form. They have followed the example of California and Washington and decided to quit giving preferential treatment to any group.

Movie Review (Men of Honor)

This movie from 2000 is absolutely fantastic. The story of Master Chief Boatswain's Mate Diver MCBM (DV) Carl Brashear, bottom picture, who would stop at nothing to become a Navy diver. Being a Navy diver sucks. It is difficult, disgusting, dirty, thankless work. These men are referred to as "mud puppies" and are the lowest echelon of the underwater frogman. They are also irreplaceable and life could not go on in the military without them. The actors in this movie all completely knocked it out of the park. Every performance was perfect. Most notably Robert DeNiro's adaption of a seasoned salty Master Chief is perfect. I always hate watching civilians try to portray military personnel, they always seem to miss the point, or lack believability. Not this time, if you ever wondered what a Chief, Senior Chief, or Master Chief was like watch this performance. It was perfect.
The story is sad, yet inspiring and is well written. I felt the movie slow down in a couple of places, but overall it had a good pace and keeps you engaged. Run, don't walk if you haven't seen this one before.

MRI on Monday

On Monday, the Captain goes in to find out why his knee makes funny squishing sounds and seems to move excessively from front to back during acceleration and deceleration (I use these terms liberally). I do not look forward to the results as I suspect a meniscus tear and/or some sort of abnormal tissue buildup. I have to know since trying to walk with the kids at a park a few weeks ago resulted in much swelling and pain after a very light workload. I remember distinctly about two years ago playing flag football and feeling my knee "pop" ( not painful) while trying to chase a frat boy down the field. The pop was front to back and not laterally which should mean no ACL tear but could be the MCL or PCL. I'll keep you updated on the results. If you want to know more about knee structures and diagnosis click here.

Election Night 2006

I heard some conservatives crying a bit about some of the election results from last night. Let me give my brief synopsis of what I think happened. I think people are tired of career politicians who cave in to pressure groups and large organizations; this happen regardless of the person's party. People are searching for a candidate who will listen to them and they no longer care what party they list themselves under. Several elected Democrats ran as a member of that party just so they wouldn't be associated with the President it appears. Two-thirds of the Democrats that got elected yesterday are extremely moderate being pro-life, and pro-gun etc..

The only down side I see is that Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House. She is pretty wishy-washy voting one way then the other based on "party pressure." It should be fun to watch and see how well all these new folks get along. I look forward to hearing the Democratic plan for getting out of Iraq. So far all I have heard, from either party, is how crappy the other group's plan is. Now we'll see if someone can actually define something besides raising minimum wage.

Faith Hill (loser)

This is the same woman who went to New Orleans the day AFTER the President gave them (the city) $9 billion . When she got there she cussed the President on and off camera saying she wasn't doing anything. She's brilliant! She claims the CMA thing in the video was a joke, click here to read the spin. Additionally, you can click here to find their opinions on how to clean up natural disasters. In the CNN article there is a reference to Kanye West apparently doing something similar, That said, let me draw another parallel:



Perhaps Tim should find out why Faith and Kanye seem to have so many similarities. On the plus side it does show some good diversity in the Democratic party.

Overweight cops

To start with let me say that people who dedicate their live to physical law enforcement are heroes. I am not talking about cyber-crime desk jockeys ;-), though they are needed as well.

I read this article on CNN a few days ago and couldn't believe it. To sum up the Chief told his fat officers to trim it down and used the words "Jelly Bellies" which hurt some fat guy's pride. Why the fat guy thinks he isn't a jelly belly, and/or is proud of it, I don't understand. Out of 80 recipients there is one documented complaint in the form of an anonymous letter. That is such crap; this guy wants his officers trimmed down, which I firmly believe would make them better cops, and gets canned.

Why does this crap happen?

Willie Nelson writes, "Horses are all the things a truly evolved human should be." - what a flippin' idiot.

John Kerry (sore loser)

I really don't care if you are for or against the war, like or hate the President or any of that crap. I certainly care when you say bullshit like this:

He (John Kerry) said: "You know, education -- if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well.

"If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

These remarks came Monday to students at Pasadena City College in California. One of Mr. Kerry's aides said it was "mangled in delivery." It was supposed to be this:

Kerry was supposed to say, "I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

What a turd! FYI Mr. Jackass high and mighty who looked at the same information as our "stupid President" voted for the war.

The President said:

"The senator's suggestion that the men and women of our military are somehow uneducated is insulting and shameful," Bush said. "The men and women who serve in our all-volunteer armed forces are plenty smart and are serving because they are patriots -- and Sen. Kerry owes them an apology."

I agree, but then Mr. Kerry has never actually been able to speak for himself so he will now head back to Washington and get a prepared statement from his political party. This makes me appreciate Senator Obama as he can actually speak for himself, even though I don't necessarily agree with all of his views.

The quotes come from this article.

Movie Review (The Sentinel)

The Sentinel is about a veteran Secret Service Agent (Michael Douglas, looking old) who is getting framed for wanting to assassinate the President. Too screw his life up more he happens to be in love with the President's wife (Kim Basinger, looking hot as ever). The pace was good, the action pretty solid and the actors were great. I liked the girl from Desperate Housewives (total crap) as she pulled her role off effortlessly. Kiefer Sutherland delivered one of his standard stoic characters, but I think that's cool too. I could have stood a little more action and perhaps I might have actually enjoyed a little more background on the love story. Anyway, there's a great little twist/surprise towards the end and everything wraps up nicely. If you rent the DVD be sure to check the special features for the alternate ending.

I recommend this movie for rental night.

Movie Review (The Lake House)

The Lake House is a story about two people who live two years apart and fall in love through their ability to write letters to each other across the time gap. Somehow the mailbox at said location allows them to do this. Their deep love for each other must wait until their lives can somehow cross, and it torments them both. The main actors were absolutely fantastic which was a pleasant surprise since I was expecting Speed 4 or something like it. They both conveyed emotion effectively and kept you engaged in the story. Additionally, the pace of the movie was great, it never had a lull which I rarely say about romance crap. For sure there are some oddities that defy logic, but look beyond to the deeper meaning. There is a plot twist that is fairly easy to discover long before it is revealed, but the ending is still a tense and magical moment that is portrayed well by both the script and the players. There is some breathtaking scenery, but it seemed to flash by too quickly for me, and some of the father son relationship problems were a touch vague but it finally came out in one brief scene.

For me personally, I understood the story on its deeper level and this was the first time I have ever connected to a movie of this type. I am hoping to not make this a habit by watching The Sentinel today. One of Captain Dude's readers will definitely understand that first sentence.

I highly recommend this film.

The Captain gets on the Mancow show

Monday morning as I drove in I decided to listen to the Mancow show to see what the day's rant was. Apparently some human remains have been found a few blocks from ground zero and some concerned folks want all construction to stop until everything is recovered. Mancow seemed completely pissed off that Mayor Bloomberg would not halt everything, so I decided to phone in. They screen you pretty carefully and you have to sit on hold for about 15 minutes but it was worth it. My two comments to him were:

The sound bite of Bloomberg sounded like he was saying construction would continue only in areas that had been thoroughly searched. Mancow responded that was not what the Mayor said but I still haven't heard evidence beyond that.

Secondly, I asked about the Sailors, Marines, and Civilians interred at Pearl Harbor. Surely all of their relatives were not ok with them being left in their watery graves, but it is a fitting tribute to their sacrifice and a reminder of why we went to war. I received no answer or comment at all on this statement.

To clear it up, you cannot recover all remains from that type of devastation, and we are not recovering those people. What made them who they are is now gone and in another place. I believe 24 people are missing and presumed dead. For those families I know they seek closure, but truly if they are not dead they do not want to be found.

Stupid Drivers

So this morning I came to an intersection that does not have a light and where you must cross 4 lanes of traffic. It was then I ran into the "Knoxville Anomaly" that irks me so much. There was finally a break in traffic on my side of the road, and two cars coming on the far side so I proceeded to the middle of the intersection. My intent was to wait for the two oncoming cars to pass and then proceed the rest of the way. Instead the lead driver slammed on his brakes, I had already come to a complete stop well before this, and decided to motion me through the intersection to be nice.
This driver's attempt to be kind almost caused two cars and six people to be involved in a wreck at almost 55 miles per hour. Had this driver been smart enough to look in his rear view mirror he would have seen that there was no traffic after the two of them and that the correct thing to do was OBEY THE LAW and just keep going. This anomaly happens often in Knoxville where the second or third to last vehicle in a line will stop and try to let people in instead of just letting the traffic flow naturally. It is also never the person near the front of a long line where it might actually be beneficial.

That's how I started my day.

University of Tennessee Football

I am finally becoming a believer in the UT volunteers football team. The new OC has a grip on Erik Ainge's strengths and weaknesses and they are managing the game effectively against multiple types of opponents. With the exception of the Florida game and almost Air Force things are clicking well. I heard yesterday that Mr. Ainge was mentioned in the Heisman race. To clear this up he shouldn't be, but I guess no one is setting themselves apart right now.
For the season he has an NCAA QB rating of 172.58 and an NFL rating of 115.73, he also averages 9.74 yards per completion. These are REALLY good numbers for a guy that stunk up the joint just a season ago. The main difference is that this season he is the guy, no fear of being yanked after one poor play for a Clausen. Clausen, by the way, is German for crappy quarterback; if you don't believe me watch one of them play. Thankfully Notre Dame has inherited this plague.

Movie Review (Fun with Dick and Jane)

This movie is about a man who is a rising star in his multi-national company who suddenly finds the rug yanked out from under him Enron style. After trying to find a comparable job and failing he seeks "regular" employment and also cannot succeed in that environment. Becoming desperate he and his wife switch to a life of crime to support themselves Robin Hood style, or so they think. Anyway they get desperate, do some stupid things and there are some funny moments along the way. It all appears to work out in the end but no one ever really wraps up the whole plot.

This movie was borderline stupid with the saving graces being the peppering of funny moments and Tea Leoni being smokin' hot.

Rent it if you have nothing better to do, otherwise avoid it.

Mini Mag 2 AA 3watt LED (New Flashlight)

I have been looking to purchase an LED flashlight for about a year but didn't really want to shell out almost $100. One option I had previously considered was the $10-$15 upgrade for my 2AA Mini-Mag but the reviews on the upgrade's durability were poor. Beyond that the batteries in my mini mag burst this summer ruining the flashlight. Before I tell you about the new Mini Mag let me say that if you haven't used these lights in the past they are the best. Virtually indestructible and great performance are things I have come to expect from anything made by Maglite.
Now reading about LED technology before my purchase I understood that there were some negative aspects to converting to the newer technology. The most notable issues are price, and that and LED does not "throw" the beam as far as a traditional bulb. WHATEVER! This light, or "torch" as my friend the Artificial Dragon calls them, was $24 at Lowes and is brighter than the sun. I was looking down into the bulb from about 3 feet away when I first turned it on and my eye still hurts. The best thing for me about the new Mini Mag is that it still has their patented "candle mode" allowing you to convert the front focusing piece into a base by removing it. I do need to check and see if it came with a spare bulb, which has also always been a favorite feature of mine.

Movie Review (The Departed)

The Departed is about the convergence of the paths of two men on opposite sides of the law. Both men are cops but for very different reasons. This movie was around 2:30 long and for the first two hours the cast and the writing will absolutely dazzle you. There is some stupid artsy cinematography but that's to be expected these days. The cast is stellar and they play their parts very impressively. The script/screenplay is dynamic and twisting and takes you down several interesting paths, I was thoroughly engaged during most of the movie. The downsides were the overly abusive language which, at times, was gratuitous and not realistic. The gore from the deaths was extremely realistic so beware of that if you are squeamish. Now for the part that made this the second worst movie I have ever seen

WARNING****SPOILER****WARNING

The script writer apparently did not want to wrap up all of the interesting plot twists and turns he created during the course of the movie. Instead of working out about four details he decides to kill everyone in the movie. When I say everyone I mean he kills five of the eight main characters that you have become acquainted with throughout the film. Their deaths also do not tie up several oddities such as:
How did "the love interest" understand what was on "the CD"
What was in "the envelope"
What about "the baby"
Where did Dingham come from?
What happens to "the love interest"

I think I would still recommend seeing this film since the first part is stellar. It was worth he $8 for that, but is weird at the end.

Feeding Babies

The time has come to start feeding Mr. Chunky solid foods. I don't really see the need since he seems to pack on the pounds just fine with Mother's Milk. Something about doctor's orders etc. but anyway I am pretty sure these were green beans. Gross!

He can Dance!

Yesterday I caught my son trying the Macarena. I told him this would be his only warning on this type of behavior which includes all line dancing. I retruned from a trip out of town and initially thought he may have lost weight; as you can see from the picture, I was mistaken.

A funny (Airline Bathrooms and Seats)

I needed a funny today, check it out:

Dear Continental Airlines,

I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of your aircrafts. As you may know, this seat is situated directly across from the lavatory, so close that I can reach out my left am and touch the door.

All my senses are being tortured simultaneously. It's difficult to say what the worst part about sitting in 29E really is? Is it the stench of the sanitation fluid that's blown all over my body every 60 seconds when the door opens? Is it the wooosh of the constant flushing? Or is it the passengers asses that seem to fit into my personal space like a pornographic jig-saw puzzel?

I constructed a stink-shield by shoving one end of a blanket into the overhead compartment — while effective in blocking at least some of the smell, and offering a small bit of privacy, the ass-on-my-body factor has increased, as without my evil glare, passengers feel free to lean up against what they think is some kind of blanketed wall. The next ass that touches my shoulder will be the last!

I am picturing a board room full of executives giving props to the young promising engineer that figured out how to squeeze an additional row of seats onto this plane by putting them next to the LAV. I would like to flush his head in the toilet that I am close enough to touch, and taste, from my seat.

Putting a seat here was a very bad idea. I just heard a man groan in there! This sucks!

Worse yet, is I've paid over $400.00 for the honor of sitting in this seat!

Does your company give refunds? I'd like to go back where I came from and start over. Seat 29E could only be worse if it was located inside the bathroom.

I wonder if my clothing will retain the sanitizing odor . . . what about my hair! I feel like I'm bathing in a toilet bowl of blue liquid, and there is no man in a little boat to save me.

I am filled with a deep hatred for your plane designer and a general dis-ease that may last for hours.

We are finally decending, and soon I will be able to tear down the stink-shield, but the scars will remain.

I suggest that you initiate immediate removal of this seat from all of your crafts. Just remove it, and leave the smouldering brown hole empty, a good place for sturdy/non-absorbing luggage maybe, but not human cargo.

Even better it appears to be factual:
http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/seat29e.asp

Death in the Family

We returned home yesterday evening around 2000 and received a call that Grandmomma had passed away this morning at 0215. We are very thankful for the 82 wonderful years that Grandmomma had and especially thankful for the opportunity that we had to spend time with her last week. She died two weeks after her diagnosis so the suffering for her and the family was certainly not as long as it could have been. While we will miss Grandmomma we know that she was a believer and that she had accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, there lies the hope and the glory in this situation. The picture above was taken in August.

Baby milestone

Not only is my son a fantastic dancer, as evidenced in the picture, he is now able to roll from his back to his stomach whenever he wants. While this is mostly good news, it ends the days of setting him down where ever we felt like it. I guess I have to pay more attention now.
He has also started saying Gaaa, gheee, and goo. I am pretty sure he's trying to say "Golly daddy's a good looking man."

Male Bathroom Etiquette

Weird fun last night

Last night I issued my standard push ups challenge to someone who doubted I could perform more than five. The challenge is you do as many as possible without me watching and I will double it without watching. Last night the twist was that the gentleman asked me to do mine with my kids on my back. My five year old weighs 43lbs. and the seven year old weighs 48lbs. I left the room while my 53 yr old adversary did his thing and when I returned I had the younger girl sit on my back. I was able to do 15 with her and 10 with the other. I was pretty disappointed, but luckily he only did six. Sometimes you just get lucky.

Today's events

Today I got a call at 0800 to get my son to the nursing home where "Grandmomma" is spending her last days. I ran straight out the door with him and we got there in time for her to interact with him a bit as she asks for him whenever she wakes up. It was not long after that when I realized I did not bring the diaper bag with me, this sucks. I borrowed a phone, mine doesn't work 'round these parts, and phoned back to the house to have my mother-in-law bring it when she came. After that my son and Grandmomma were hungry at the same time. As I am unable to feed my son in his current life stage, I fed grandmomma some yogurt. She seemed to think it was really good, and her roommate Miss Effie seemed to think that was hilarious. Miss Effie was a missionary in Africa before she was unable to care for herself; mostly, she sits on her side of the room and giggles in between random memories of her colorful past. I talked with her for a bit while the nurses gave Grandmomma her medication, if you consider talking me saying stuff and her laughing.

We Left after about two hours and, as always, I was terribly impressed with the people who work in those facilities. Definitely hard work, and definitely little pay. After that I cam back to my in-laws and tried to work for a few minutes, but got sidetracked with lunch preparation and my very chunky 4 month old. It was then time for the girls to have school, and my wife needed to leave, so I got that duty today. Second grade seemed much harder than I remember, and kindergarten did as well. I got through that and decided to take the girls swimming in the lake it was around 90 here and the water was about the same.

Now, I am watching the sun sink against the backdrop of this beautiful property and.... waiting. I
think we are having spaghetti then watching the movie E.T. later.

P.S. I love Matthew Mconahey (sp)

The Captain is on the road

I am currently spending half of my day in a nursing home conversing with the guests, and the other half chasing my children and attempting to school them on the road. To be sure this is a trying time for my family as a loved one approaches death. This death will come soon and she is ready to see Jesus. This knowledge will not prevent the sadness of loss but such is the price of sin, thanks Adam and Eve!
Additionally I am struggling with something I never thought I would. Don't feel sad for me though, it's something that has needed to happen for years and we will see where it all leads in time. I am hopeful that things will turn out as they should and that is giving me comfort during my struggle. Please pray that I will make the right decisions in the near future.

The Captain is Tired (but very happy)

I am wearing my self out right now. I just got back from WV, and Monday I fly to Florida for an unexpected family illness; I come back Wednesday then head back to WV Monday. All that said, I am very happy right now.

Most Haunted (dumbest show ever)

So I watched this show tonight to see what the deal was. Pretty much, a bunch of people go into "haunted" houses or other places and attempt to film paranormal activity. What they do is shoot a bunch of stuff through a night vision lens so it looks like crap, and they back it with some scary tense music. One or two other folks are supposed to be "mediums" and they flap their gob-holes about a bunch of senseless crap trying to heighten the mood. After everything gets real tense you will hear some settling noises or some distant bangs or bumps which is supposed to be the "spirit" communicating. This show is whack, I can't believe people enjoy garbage like this. Oh, I forgot that every now and then a little bit of lint or reflection will be highlighted as a ghost too. FYI for anyone listening GHOSTS AREN'T REAL!! If the people would shut up and the backing track wasn't present you would be filming dark rooms which anyone can do at home.

Guys rules

From an e-mail:

The Guys' Rules

---------------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally! , the
guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Rockstar: SuperNova (gone gay)

Last night Supernova chose this clown as their front man. I have to say that I was terribly disappointed seeing the two worst/weakest as the final two. Toby and Magni were much better singers and musicians than the final pair. Of the final pair Dilana was definitely a better singer but seemed to have some self control problems and relied too heavily on her "I love Satan" look. Lukas does this gimmicky thing with his voice and I doubt he will hold up very long. But hey, Taylor Hicks won American Idol so I guess anything can happen. What do I think should have won?
Well For Idol:


And Rockstar:

Some war facts

Almost 3,000 men and women from our great country have died in Iraq. I have heard that this is too great a price to pay. With that said I wanted to offer some statistics.

Civil War: 618,000 total dead, 203,000 of them in combat.

World War I: 126,200 Americans died, total deaths from all participants 15,596,071.

World War II: 418,500 Americans died, total deaths from all participants 62,537,400

Vietnam: 47,378 KIA + 10,824 non-hostile deaths for 58,202 American deaths. 1,100,000 total death from all participants.

Korean War: 54,229 Americans died (my grandfather received a purple heart), 285,241 total deaths from all participants.

No those figures are not typos and while they may not be 100% accurate, based on my hasty research, they certainly paint the price of freedom. I would say that the main difference now would be the extended media coverage which focuses on the negative aspects of what is happening. Let us not dishonor the tens of thousands who have died in the past by pretending our generation is more precious or important than those men and women who died before us.

Brangelina

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided they will not get married until "everyone" can get married. I think this means until gay marriage is legal. Pretty much I think this means one of the following:
1) One of them actually just doesn't want to get married and this is a convenient excuse.
2) They are greatly overestimating their influence on society.
3) They are just weird.

Feel free to mix and match as you see fit. I want celebrities to go back to acting and understanding their opinion is not important to anyone outside of TeenBeat.

9/11

ABC's 9/11 controversy

So, first there were folks complaining about the fact that ABC planned to let people swear openly in this show. Next, I hear that some of the facts are incorrect. Soon after that little revelation former Secretaries of State and Presidents are complaining. Lastly, The ACTORS THEMSELVES said they had doubts about stuff that was shot.
What a crappy way to dishonor the memory of these people. Quit playing politics, and having an agenda on this day. There are already a small portion of jackasses that think this stuff was fake and/or perpetrated by the government. It's the same five people who think we never went to the moon. Well probably their grandchildren, but you get the idea.

For my friends in cubicles

I am no longer in a cubicle, but I am sure I haven't seen the last of them. Enjoy:

The Crocodile Hunter

I have to admit I loved watching this guy do what I considered very stupid things. I think we all envisioned that some animal would someday take his life. At 44 Mr. Irwin was killed when a stingray barb, apparently, punctured his chest and hit his heart. That has to be one of the most rare deaths ever. Without a doubt he boosted the popularity of his country and the Discovery Channel with his insane antics. He is survived by his wife and 2 children.

The News

I heard two interesting stories this week. One was that a "monster" had been found dead in Maine. You can read about it here. I think it looks like a dog, and isn't scary at all. The news must really be hurting, nothing going on so we start calling some mutt a monster.

But wait there was a terrorist attack in San Francisco. Some 29 year old Muslim man tried to run down a bunch of people in a Jewish community. Hmmm, accounts of this story seem to vary but some folks claim he was yelling "I am a terrorist" and others say he just misses his wife. No one seems to want to call a duck a duck anymore.

Lastly in San Francisco there is yet another example of how to do things very very wrong. This article talks about one school district is going to let kids decide for themselves if they are boys or girls. Is your gender some mystery, the anatomy is a pretty big clue most of the time. Children need guidance and instruction to help them through the confusing times, and also to assist them in making better decisions later in life. If we let children run themselves they would all get fat on chocolate and sit on the couch watching TV all day. Oh, wait that's how a lot of people "parent" these days anyway. Then they sue the school for having a vending machine.

Stupid! Be accountable for your family and how they are raised, and what they eat and what they do.

Rookie Analysis

So, with the Pre-Season almost over here's what I think of the rookies I have watched:

Vince Young: Tremendous athlete, running/scrambling is solid, passing game still needs work.

LenDale White: Fat (as pictured), needs to get trim and start running. Looks to be powerful.

Reggie Bush: He's good to go, looks dangerous as long as everything isn't on him.

Jay Cutler: Looks incredible, should be good to go next season as a starter. Already prepared to step in as a reliever.

Matt Leinart: Looking good, should have been in camp on time. Hopefully he will be ready to start after Warner trows his first pick.

Mario Williams: Is he even playing?

Laurence Maroney: Watch out Corey Dillon, he's good to go.

Rex Grossman: Fragile. Someone just told me he isn't actually a rookie he just hasn't played much.

I think those are all the big names. If I left out one of your favorite players, feel free to get your own blog.

Sir Charles Barkley

Mr. Barkley is debating whether or not to run for political office. Reading this article he seems like one of the most confused people on the planet. Let's also not forget that if he weren't famous only his family would vote for him, if that.
He said if he were in charge he would "ask somebody and try to make a fair, honest decision for the majority of the people. Not the rich, not the poor, not the black, not the white." Yeah dude, that's how the government works now. All you hear about is the opposing parties bashing depending on who is the President. Plus the media finds whatever little crack it can see and turns it into the Grand Canyon. I think this is true of Republicans and Democrats and that people should learn for themselves if most of the accusations that fly around are true.

Funeral

Saturday I went to Mr. G's funeral. This man was not famous nor was he wealthy. I would estimate that several hundred people showed up at his funeral. I have never seen anything like that. This man touched so many lives as he tried to witness Christ to everyone he came in contact with. The service was beautiful and stunning, I told my daughters they may never see anything like that again.
Sunday evening as we went through our normal evening routine where the girls shower at 8 then are allowed to read in bed until 830 or 9 when I play the guitar for them. When I took my guitar in Sunday night my 7 year old was writing a note. Here is what she said:

Dear James,
I love you so much!
I wonder why God had to take you?
I am glad I will see you agin.
Thank you for letting me play in your ofiss.
I wis you were here.
Love Jana

And the next page:

Dear God,
Why did you have to take him?
I gess he was hurting so much.
But I still love him so much.
Love Jana

Oddly it was my 5 year old that asked the dreaded "Why did Mr. James have to die?"
It's difficult to explain to adults why bad things happen to good people let alone a child, or so I thought. I told them that sometimes bad things happen to bring glory and honor to God. For example at the funeral 4 or 5 people surrendered their lives to Christ. Several households and hopefully their future generations will now live as Christians. This was all James wanted, and all he lived for. I, sadly, had underestimated my girls; they understood perfectly.

The verses read by the Pastor accurately sum up the life of this man.

The apostle Paul wrote these words to Timothy near the end of his life.

2Ti 4:6	For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.
2Ti 4:7	I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;
2Ti 4:8	in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.

Ridiculous waste of money...

and the worst job ever.