The Don Imus coup

I feel the need to weigh in on the recent events surrounding Don Imus. Before I start, let me say that I am not a fan of his nor have I ever been. I do feel the need to defend the guy a little though.

What he said was, at worst, just a little rude. He has been far more offensive in the past and to be fired for something that is barely even insensitive seems crazy. I realize that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are leading the lynch mob; this should automatically red flag the whole thing as ridiculous. To put this in perspective and try to achieve true equality in our society let's ask the questions that need to be asked.

Would the punishment be the same for a black man/woman?

Have those very words been uttered by those women in their locker room?

Why is there a double standard for people based on skin color?

Why do we not fire every black or Hispanic man for using racially charged speech?

Nicely stated

I got this in a forward, and it was attributed to Jay Leno. Jay Leno quoted the last paragraph only, the rest was written by someone else.

Reference: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/jayleno.asp

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data
I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the
direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy
with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry
just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so
unhappy about?''

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the
summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these
unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery
store at any time and see more food in moments than

Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through
each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would
find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having
thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just
not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency
workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter
to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may
be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to
extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or
if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or
prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest
will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in
the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and
pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own
cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy
that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67
percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world
has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great
disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed
people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have ,
and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live
here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no
plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval
rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days
after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of
recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the
book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from
terrorist attacks?

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending
you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show?
Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a
look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually
caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was
failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.


Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have
volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom.
There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They
are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an
''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a
''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.


So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of
Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it
leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash
with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the
corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations.
They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions by
"justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a
murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his
wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the
TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird
cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is
exponentially more good than bad.


We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several
times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.


"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and
with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a
good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Rowdy Weather

Last night after an episode of House, the weather came on. Matt Hinkin said there was some nasty weather headed our way and it was moving at almost 40 miles per hour. People to the North of us were reporting 3-inch hail and 70 MPH winds. I thought about this for a moment and realized my new truck was outside, alone, in the path of the bitter weather. I ran to the garage where I came across the actual problem.

Think back to the Home Improvement Nightmare series from the Captain. You will recall that one of the things offered by the store was to keep the leftover material from the job. Part of that material was 48 boxes of beautiful ceramic tile. That tile was sitting where I needed to park my truck. Each box of that tile weighs 38.1 pounds. I'll give you a second for that.....

1828.8 lbs.

I moved it in fifteen minutes from one corner to the other. The worst part about moving it is you have to remove it from the pallet, move the pallet, and re-stack on the pallet. I moved every box 2 times....

3657.6 lbs

I believe, I will skip my workout on the Bowflex tonight.

On a side note, as soon as I closed the garage door after snuggling my truck up against the Pilot, the storm hit our area.

Good car dealers in Knoxville

As Many of you know, my car buying research has been both extensive and quite frustrating. Trying to be an informed consumer is sometimes more trouble than it's worth I think. With all that said let me recommend two places to complete a transaction.

First, I bought the 2003 Honda Pilot w 44k on it at Duncan Automotive and would definitely recommend stopping by to see Jason Taylor next time you are shopping. This place is zero pressure and very up front with everything. Once Jason has helped you find the right vehicle, Tony will take over and help get you out the door as painlessly as possible.

Duncan Automotive - more info »

10631 Parkside Dr, Knoxville, TN

(865) 693-2401 - close call

Second, I bought the 2002 Tundra w 65k on it from ETN pre-owned which I had previously avoided since I thought it was a "Clinton Highway" (buy here pay here) lot. They are a subsidiary of East Tennessee Nissan of Knoxville which is part of the Victory Automotive group. Dave Early can help you find what you need, and then Travis will help with the financing. Best of all if you tell them Captain Dude (use my real name please) sent you, I get $100 for every referral.

For the social experiment previously I was dealing with the Ted Russell dealerships around town. They did cal, and were very apologetic saying they would do anything at all to help me. When I gave them detailed information about what I was looking for they couldn't come up with a single vehicle. If you are a Ted Russell customer, I hope your experience was better. I promise you could have done better elsewhere.

The "other" ride

Since I was bragging about my new wheels I thought I would put the other one up. Yeah that's the new hood, great job by the folks at CARS Inc..

The Captain's New Ride

Yes boys and girls, that is a 2002 Toyota Tundra SR5 TRD. I have no idea what anything after Tundra means. yesterday was the last day of the month, I got a deal.

If anyone wants to buy a set of Mickey Thompson Tires and Rims hit me up, I am not into that and would rather have some Michelins.

New Project

The Captain has stumbled across this old girl. She is a 1978(?) Guild FJ12SB I cannot even find information on the model number. I have written a few folks, and consulted other on beginning the restoration process.
CORRECTION, according to some guitar experts I e-mailed here are the specs:

It is an F-512 Sunburst guitar. It is all solid woods--spruce top and
rosewood back and sides. Jay Pilzer, New Hope Guitar Traders,
www.guildguy.com, phone/fax (931) 433-1955

I even got an e-mail from George Gruhn himself:

I am forwarding this to Jay Pilzer for him to help you.

George Gruhn

The wrong bridge was glued on, and she has been really beaten up and not cared for throughout her life. Wish me luck as I begin to unravel her story and begin this restorative process.

P.S. The case is in equally as poor condition, so that will be next.

Iran (idiots)

So, people have been trying very hard to be diplomatic with Iran's megalomaniac leader for what three years now? At every turn the guy dares the entire non-Arab world to do anything to him. This guy is the most dangerous man on the planet and needs to be wiped out. I believe the final straw will be how quickly they hand over these British detainees. If it doesn't happen in the next 48 hours another war may be coming quickly.

Did you know that he was elected because he was a very popular soccer player?

Roofer in Knoxville (Zanoni Roofing)

After dealing with a load of idiots who wanted $800 an hour to fix my roof I found an honest contractor. Matt Zanoni stopped by at 1945 Saturday and did the job for $35. I paid him $50 just for being honest and upstanding in a line of work which appears to be full of rip-offs. If you need some roofing work done, check him out or give him a call at 865-898-3144.

The Computer Depot

One of the Captain's good friends has recently celebrated ten years in business in the Powell community. The Computer Depot can definitely take care of your needs. Please stop by or call next time you need parts or service for your PC. They also have great deals on used laptops and PCs.

The Captain crashes

Last night while taking the girls to church I stopped at a particularly busy intersection and waited for the light to change. The light turned green and the Toyota Rav-4 in front of me started to move so I let off the brake. At that moment my oldest daughter yelled something behind me so I looked in the rear-view mirror to see her dancing with some funny sunglasses on. It was at that point I completely destroyed the rear end of the Rav-4. We pulled over in a parking lot and the poor lady said she had to hit her brakes because the man in front of her stopped. When I hit her the car in front of her wast about 20 yards ahead of her, I have no idea why she stopped. As we waited for the police she must have repeated that statement 50 times. When the police came they interviewed her first and listened to the "he slammed on his brakes in front of me story." The cops walked over to me grinning a bit and said "There wasn't anyone in front of her was there?" I told them I hadn't seen any reason for her to stop but acknowledged it was my fault anyway. They chose not to give me a citation. Fortunately the Pilot only needs a little hood work, I wish I could say the same for her Toyota. 10 mph appears to have destroyed her lift gate and at least one rear quarter panel.

P.S. The Captain's wife was very pleased that I chose to drive her car last night. (sarcasm)

American Idol's terrible year

Sometimes American Idol has kids on it that can really just blow you away. Conversely, they have years where people like Reuben and Fantasia win. This is definitely an off year for Idol, they are terrible. To pay tribute to the singers out there who got the shaft I am starting a series of my favorite singer from other "reality" shows. I may even throw in some idol performances that truly brought it instead of this yodeling, beat-boxing crap. If you have time, watch all the videos as his talent really progresses towards the end.

For my first Montage, here is Mig Ayesa from RockStar:INXS.

Enjoy this Scene

Let me share with you a scene from one of the best movies ever. The movie is Crossroads starring Ralph Macchio and it is fantastically done. The long-haired guitarist in the end scene is Steve Vai, yes he is playing his parts. Ralph is NOT playing but he sure does a great job faking the fingerings.

And people ask why we homeschool

Oregon Biology Teacher Fired Over Bible References

My roofing woes

Since my ridgevent is in my backyard, and we are expecting some rain, I decided to call and get that dude put back on the house. Opening the local paper to the Service Provider section I began
dialing the roofers in order. First, almost all of these are cell numbers that appear to either be the wife or girlfriend with a screaming baby on their hip. Secondly these guy apparently think they have cured cancer or something based on their prices. The first lady says they have to see the roof to give an estimate, which I mostly disagree with in this case. Then she says they have a $200 minimum.

No Thanks.

I called the next dude and he was near my house but needed to call back. He calls back and said he also needs to see the roof but is nearby. He hands the phone to someone else who put my address in their GPS Nav system. Five minutes later they are outside. This dude pulls up in a Ford F-250 FX4 crew cab that is maybe a year old. Five dudes jump out of the truck and the driver shakes my hand and says "where is the vent?"

"In the backyard." I replied

They all run to the backyard.

"You have a ladder?" asks Mr. in-charge

"Yes, why?" from the Captain

"We need it."

I handed my ladder to some 18 yr old kid and he starts climbing my roof while Mr. in-charge is barking orders and having these boys run hither and yon doing I don't know what. I am wondering if this jackass knows I have not hired him at this point. He then looks at me and says

"I'll do it for $200, no big deal"

I tell him "I am still getting estimates, but I appreciate you time."

He says, "I can't come back for that price."

"Other people can." I inform him.


Why does he think he can pull up in a $45,000 truck with five dudes and charge me $200 for about 15 minutes of work?

I did find a dude that said he would do it for $70 which seems fair to me.

This is so sad

Mother Arrested After First-Grade Son Brings Crack Cocaine to Show-and-Tell

The headline pretty much sums it up, but read it anyway. Interesting no pictures of the mother or son, GEE I WONDER WHY.

Social Experiment part 2

This weekend the Captain decided to look at and drive some Honda Accords. I drove two older models (2000 & 2001) then saw a 2003 advertised online at the SAME LOT where the truck thing happened. I gave them a call and asked if the mileage advertised was correct and whether or not the vehicle was available. Of course it was, so I drove 20 miles to take a look since the car seemed to be an exceptional value($13,995). I showed up at the lot and met the very friendly Internet Manager who seemed to be a nice man. We chatted a minute then he walked me to the car. I was a bit shocked to see a 2005 2 door coupe with 21k miles on it sitting in front of me, he had pulled it to the front of the showroom when I told him I was coming.

"This is the wrong car." I said

"Are you sure?" came his witty reply

I related to him my experience from the previous week, his face turned an interesting pink color. He sat at his computer and magically determined the car I wanted had sold. How this was possible now and not 30 minutes previously was of great interest to me.

"Why did you say the vehicle was here?" came from the Captain

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Can I interest you in anything else?" asks doofus

I picked his most expensive used Accord, the one he pulled up, and asked to drive it. Doofus was very excited about this. When we returned he asks what I thought.

I left.

Social Experiment (Knoxville Car Dealers and Car Lots)

In collaboration with the VelvetMantis from bugly.com, we have decided to conduct a social experiment using local car dealers. We will use both blogs to detail visits to one or two car lots per week in an effort to uncover some unsavory practices. I will start things off with the ad pictured above.

The ad shown was from the Knoxville News-Sentinel and is actually still displayed on this particular dealer's website. I called the dealer about the highlighted vehicle to confirm the price and ascertain the mileage. The young man on the phone needed to go out to verify the information, of course, so I gave him my name and number. Five minutes later he called back to say the truck was still available and told me the mileage was around 68k. I drove over to the dealer spent about ten minutes going over the truck then drove it around their test driving loop. This all took about 40 minutes total. I then wanted to find out what I could get for my trade as the vehicle was fairly nice for the price.

The young man says " Just between you and me, if I give you a thousand for your trade and knock a thousand off of mine where would we be?" I said "I'll buy it right now."
He goes in to talk to the "manager" and comes out about ten minutes later.

"We have a problem," he says. "That ad is a MISPRINT in the paper. That vehicle should be $17,995."

I left.

Here is why we are conducting this experiment. This is the second time I have gone to this car dealer about six months apart and the exact same thing has happened both times. This, in conjunction with some of the other experiences I am having while car shopping, is leading me to believe that these guys are all using bait and switch type tactics. We will compile our information and ask for a response from the owners of these places of business. At that point we will decide whether or not to make this information more "public."

Actual Headlines

These are actual headlines from FoxNews:

Man Burns Genitals in 'Jackass' Stunt

Gunmen Dognap L.A. Family's 5 Puppies

Florida Man: Chicken Burrito Paralyzed Me

Killer Meat-Eating Frogs Terrorize San Francisco

Slow times these must be.

The Captain almost died (not really)

Today, March 3rd, in Knoxville was terribly windy. I went outside and noticed the ridge-vent for my house was being torn off by the gusts. I ran to my shed and grabbed some deck screws, my cordless screwdriver, and tool belt. I then grabbed my 40' extension ladder and proceeded to climb onto the roof well-equipped; or so I thought. When I reached the roof, 10.5', I realized the pitch was far too steep for me to walk up and I began to ponder how a professional would do this job. As I was theorizing, the wind whipped up and I felt the ladder "shudder." This was quite unpleasant. I began to think I should just pay someone $50 to do this while simultaneously the ladder begins to "slide" along the gutter. Let us stop for a moment to discuss the physics of this slide. The Captain weighs 160lbs, the ladder weighs probably 100lbs. That downward force will prevent the bottom feet of the ladder from traversing in the same direction as the "slide." Consider also that that downward force decreases geometrically as the 260 aforementioned pounds begin to yaw off of the vertical axis. Once the vertical axis is sufficiently compromised, about 12 inches is my guess, Sir Isaac Newton can then have a heyday as we begin to research terminal velocity from 10.5 feet with a decreasing weight starting at 260lbs. Fortunately, the Captain's cat-like reflexes enabled him to quickly reach the ground on the vertical axis(I did that thing where you put your feet on the rails and slide down). during my slide, I notice my 7 year old has come out to watch and , according to Murphy's law, has decided to put herself in the path of the destruction. She responds to a vocal command immediately while I hit the ground and grab the now 100 pounds yawing heavily to the left at about 60 degrees. I realize quickly I cannot halt the ladder, yet my macho instincts grab the structure with great ferocity. The ladder continues as if I am not present and I feel some "oddities" in my abdomen and "other places."

I will have to see the doctor.