Are you "the man"? What does that even mean today anyway? I am watching friends and families falling apart as they are preyed upon by what our society would consider well-meaning ideas and support. Instead of helping, modern society encourages you to do whatever makes your selfish pride happy. This is NOT who we are called to be. Men, do not shirk your Christian duties to your wife and children. We must do what we are called to do. I will quote to you a familiar passage:
"25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Now, there are words in here telling the wife what to do also but that is her responsibility not yours. We are to hold up our end of the bargain regardless of what she is doing. Now, I am not advocating sitting idly by in an abusive environment or condoning any non-biblical behavior by your spouse. Verse 26 actually speaks to this and you can also get some good biblical counseling from a professional. Be careful who you choose, I went to one Christian counselor that never opened the Bible.
I didn't hold up my end of the bargain for over 10 years in my marriage. I made excuse after excuse in order to blame my wife when it was really my sin that was the problem. I need to examine myself before I examine anyone else. I also need to make sure that I am placing God first, then my spouse, then my kids, and then others before I give myself what I think I deserve. This is not the popular psychology version we want to hear these days. We want to hear that we should follow our hearts and do what makes us happy. To quote a friend:
"What if marriage doesn't exist to make you happy, what if it exists to make you holy?"
